Writing a book is one of the most incredible things I’ve ever done. When I released Becoming Extraordinary, it was exciting, therapeutic, and—if I’m being totally honest—a little terrifying.
So I get it. So many people want to write a book, but they don’t think they can. They tell themselves:
- “I’m not a real writer.”
- “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
- “What if no one reads it?”
But here’s what I’ve learned—it’s not as hard as it seems. And if that dream of writing a book has been sitting in the back of your mind, today’s conversation is for you.
Today, I’m joined by my friend Sam Bennett, a best-selling author, creative entrepreneur, and expert at helping people finally take action on those big ideas they’ve been putting off. And let me tell you—she doesn’t just talk about this stuff, she’s done it. Sam has written not just one, but multiple bestsellers.
She knows exactly what holds people back, how to break through the fear and perfectionism, and—most importantly—how to finally start writing the book you’ve been thinking about for years.
How to connect with Sam:
- Website: https://therealsambennett.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theorganizedartistcompany
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/therealsambennett/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealsambennett/
Links Mentioned:
- The 15-Minute Method (Book): https://amzn.to/3DmKESX
- Get It Done (Book): https://amzn.to/3QHkMnY
- Start Right Where You Are (Book): https://amzn.to/41y814e
Watch The Live Call
Full Transcript
Misty Kortes (00:01.72)
Alrighty, hello, hello and welcome. All right, I am so excited about today’s conversation. As you guys know, or many of you do, writing a book has been one of the most incredible things I have done personally in my life. And when I released, where did I put it? Here it is. When I released Becoming Extraordinary, it was one of the most exciting.
but also therapeutic things that I have done. And a little terrifying, I’m not gonna lie. So I get it, know, a lot of people say to me, man, I really wish I could write a book. But then they tell themselves, you know, I’m not a real writer. I’ve never written anything before. I wouldn’t even know where to start. Or, you know, they also worry about like, what if nobody reads it?
And I get it. I felt all of those same things too in the process of writing my book. But here’s what I’ve learned. It’s actually not as hard as it seems. And if you have a book in mind, a dream book that you have been sitting on in the back of your mind, then today’s conversation is for you. I am joined today by my friend, Sam Bennett. We have known each other for a few years now. She is a
Beth selling author. She’s a creative entrepreneur and an expert in helping people finally take action on those big ideas that they’ve been putting off. And let me tell you, she doesn’t just talk about this stuff. She’s actually done it. Sam has written not one, not two, but actually multiple bestsellers. So she knows exactly what holds people back.
and how she can help them break through that fear and the perfectionism that tends to creep in. And most importantly, how to actually finally start writing the book that you’ve been thinking about for years. So Sam, welcome to the show.
Sam Bennett (02:00.312)
Thank you so much, Misty. It’s so great to see you. Hi, everybody.
Misty Kortes (02:03.456)
I am so excited for this conversation. have watched you. Well, we’ve been friends for a while. We’ve been kind of circling in the same communities and chat. We don’t chat every week or anything like that, but I have watched you from afar and I know I should have grabbed your book. It’s on the bookshelf, but you recently released a book that I purchased and it’s so good. You’re just so…
The way that you approach your writing is just so clear so concise and so tangible which I love and reading When I’m reading books, so Yeah, so alright, we’re gonna dive right into the kind of the meat of the conversation today you’ve worked with so many people who actually want to write a book, but They can’t find
Sam Bennett (02:42.008)
Thank you.
Sam Bennett (02:47.98)
Yep. Yep.
Misty Kortes (02:55.358)
that courage to get over the hurdle. Why do you think that, you know, so many people are held back on that dream of writing their book?
Sam Bennett (03:03.486)
Yeah, mean, part of it, will say part of it is the part is the is we can blame on the book industry and on writers themselves, because people do tend to act like, it’s very special. And you know, nobody, you know, it’s very ivory tower and not everybody can do it. It’s very, you know, right. There’s a little bit of attitude in there. Art world has the same thing of like, well, are they really an artist? You know, is that really art? It’s like, yeah. Yes, everything’s art. And
Misty Kortes (03:27.424)
Everything’s art. Yes.
Sam Bennett (03:32.472)
And the other thing is the self-doubt is completely real. mean, those are completely legitimate concerns, right? That’s not, you’re not making things up. What if nobody reads it? Who do you think you are? What is, you know, what are you going to do with the thing? And so step one might be to just change, keep asking those questions of yourself, but just change the tone, right? So just drop your voice down a little bit and ask yourself like, okay, well, who do I think I am? I think I’m a person who wants to try writing a book.
Misty Kortes (03:57.438)
Mmm.
Misty Kortes (04:01.716)
Yes.
Sam Bennett (04:02.486)
I think I’m a person who has a story that I think might help someone. I think I’m someone who just wants to experiment with the idea of writing a book. Like, OK, cool. Well, I’m not a real writer. OK, what’s a real writer? It’s a verb. A writer is someone who writes. If you’re writing, congratulations, you’re a writer.
Misty Kortes (04:15.584)
Exactly.
Misty Kortes (04:22.376)
love that. I love that. The simplicity. See, I told you, this is what I love about you, because you can hear it through your own writing. It’s just so direct and so clear when you hear it like that. You know what I mean? Because it gets muffled in our own minds.
Sam Bennett (04:27.598)
you
Sam Bennett (04:35.438)
And then we’re like, for sure, for sure. It’s so noisy up there. I mean, you know, and the, well, what if it’s not perfect? Okay. What if it’s not perfect? What if it’s not perfect? Probably won’t be. So that’s a good question. And then a little more inquiry. Like, well, what is, what is perfect? What do I mean by perfect? Like, do I love the people in my life because they’re perfect people? Are my favorite books and movies
perfect books and movies? No. In fact, some of them are kind of crappy books and movies. But they’re my favorite and I read them over and over again, right? The movies I watch over and over again are not like great classics of film. They’re the ones that speak to me, right? So, you know, so that’s part of it is just weeding through your own self-doubt and self-questioning and…
Misty Kortes (05:10.016)
Mostly. Yup.
Misty Kortes (05:20.512)
Yes.
Sam Bennett (05:31.596)
And yeah, I even I have that. It was like really recently that I realized that I was like a real author. Right. I don’t know how many publishing deals I have to have before I’m like, well, I don’t know if I’m a real author.
Misty Kortes (05:37.204)
Yeah.
Misty Kortes (05:43.827)
Yes, I think it’s so good that people hear that too, because you’re right. know, I think that the book world and I don’t consider myself part of the book world. I’m Misty in her little world, you know, writing my book. But from afar, from someone who looked in the book world, I’ve been an avid reader for years. I always thought it was this little club and I wasn’t part of the club. So how dare I even try to write a book? You know what I mean?
Sam Bennett (06:12.822)
Yeah.
Misty Kortes (06:13.812)
So I just love that you bring that up because I think a lot of people feel that and we don’t speak it because I know I did.
Sam Bennett (06:20.834)
For sure, and I think there’s, we have an idea in our head of like that there’s a way. Like there’s a way I have to do this. I have to make an outline. I have to know what I’m writing in advance. I have to know what kind of book it is ahead of time. And the thing is with the creative process, you very rarely know what it is in advance. And even if you think you know, by the time you get to the end, it’s gonna be totally different anyway. Right?
Misty Kortes (06:29.504)
Okay.
Misty Kortes (06:42.652)
my gosh, it’s so true. I started writing my book and it became something completely different by the end of it. Absolutely.
Sam Bennett (06:47.726)
Right? And that’s the real value of the creative process is discovering what something is and discovering the person you become as you do it. Right? That’s where the value lies. It’s not an, is it a bestseller? Does Oprah read it? Does Reese read it? Like, that’s not really the value. you it’s it’s the it’s a little bit. Well, I don’t know, I don’t have kids, so you can tell me if this is true or not. I think it’s a little bit like having kids like the
Misty Kortes (06:56.0)
Hmm
Misty Kortes (07:12.522)
Yeah
Sam Bennett (07:16.248)
thing about having kids is not you’re not trying to produce a perfect kid. You’re just trying to live life with that kid and do the best you can and generally keep the train moving in the right direction. And and when the kid goes out and does something amazing, I mean, we’re saying the newest book, is the newest one, the 15 minute method, the surprisingly simple art of getting it done. She got shortlisted for a literary award, an outstanding work of literature. And honestly, it feels like
Misty Kortes (07:26.003)
Exactly.
Misty Kortes (07:40.35)
Right?
Sam Bennett (07:44.718)
But again, like if your kid did something amazing, you wouldn’t be like, that’s for me. You’d be like, oh, my kid did that. That’s amazing. I’m so pleased that people are seeing that success in that. And it’s not that my books are my children. That’s weird. That would be weird. I mean, the books are something that I created, but they’re not, they’re not children. They don’t grow up and ask me for money. They don’t sass back. A little bit they sass back. But, you know, and, you don’t know where it’s going. So the first one I wrote, Get It Done.
Misty Kortes (07:56.372)
Well, kinda.
No. Yeah, and they don’t test back either usually.
Sam Bennett (08:14.35)
from procrastination to creative genius in 15 minutes a day. First of all, I got endorsed by Seth Godin, which I’m so not over. I’m so not over that. I’m like, it’s huge. It’s huge. It freaks me out.
Misty Kortes (08:20.318)
Right? That’s huge. That’s huge.
Seth Godin, by the way, if we have some people who are like not in our little world, like he’s a marketing genius. Everybody in our world loves him. And yeah, that it’s a big deal. It’s a big deal.
Sam Bennett (08:35.534)
Yeah, it’s a big deal. It’s real big deal. don’t know. I still this moment. I don’t know how it happened. But we’re this book I published 11 years ago and she is still on the shelves. And published in.
Misty Kortes (08:42.944)
Isn’t that crazy? Yes. I bought that one too. I forgot about that one.
Sam Bennett (08:48.206)
Right? And there’ll a lot of audible and all the things. But so you just, you don’t know where it’s going. That’s what I’m saying. And you don’t need to know where it’s going. Here’s the other thing I hear all the time is I have the time. I don’t have the time. And I just want to say, first of all, yeah, of course you don’t. Who would? I mean, know, days pass, like we’re busy.
Misty Kortes (08:54.996)
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Misty Kortes (09:00.072)
Yes. Yes.
Misty Kortes (09:06.624)
We already fill all the space, exactly. Never do I get to the end of the day going, geez, I got a few extra hours today.
Sam Bennett (09:20.038)
Well, that was a really spacious day. I don’t know what I did with the time. So, you know, you don’t get a prize for being busy. You don’t get a prize for being stressed out. Like, stop it. But you can. You really, really can. I mean, this is the whole premise of the new book is you can do it in 15 minutes a day. If you spend 15 minutes a day writing,
Misty Kortes (09:32.095)
Nope.
Misty Kortes (09:40.636)
Yes, I love that.
Sam Bennett (09:47.04)
You can get out about 200, 250 words in 15 minutes. In 200 days, that’s 40,000 words. That’s a book. So where were you 200 days ago and would you like to have a book today?
Misty Kortes (09:50.281)
Yes.
Misty Kortes (09:55.303)
Exactly.
Misty Kortes (10:00.017)
It’s the equivalent of writing an email, a short email. That’s all it is.
Sam Bennett (10:03.2)
Yeah, yeah. I mean, and I love index cards. I’m a big fan of index cards. So I just, right? I’m an analog girl. I mean, sometimes I’ll voice memos, sometimes I’ll tell Siri to make a note, but I like to write it down. And that’s how I wrote my first one is, so I had the thing, forget it, like I had the idea for the book and I thought it was okay. I thought, that’s interesting, which that’s really the thing you’re looking for, right? Not is it perfect? Not will people read about just like, that’s
Misty Kortes (10:08.522)
Girl.
Misty Kortes (10:29.279)
Yeah.
Sam Bennett (10:32.224)
sort of interesting. mean, that engages me that idea. So I was engaged by the idea, but then I thought I had to have it perfect inside of my head before I started writing. Right? So like, what is it? The workbook? Is it like an allegory? Is it like one person’s journey through the product? Is it like artists way? Is it like, what’s it like? Luckily, I work with highly creative people all the time, and I know how they get in their own way. So I’m like, okay, this is me freaking out for no reason.
Misty Kortes (10:40.497)
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Misty Kortes (10:45.469)
Yeah.
Misty Kortes (10:55.367)
Hahaha
Sam Bennett (10:59.244)
So I just started carrying around index cards and anytime I had an idea for something that I thought could be in the book, I just wrote it down and then I put it in a big manila envelope on my desk labeled genius. Right. And after a couple of weeks, I dumped it all out on my dining room table and then was like, OK, well, here’s all the stuff about perfectionism and here’s all the stuff about self-doubt and here’s all the stuff about marketing and here’s wow, I wrote this three times. I guess I really think there should be on the book. Maybe I should start with that. Right. So it’s like a way of letting the book tell me.
Misty Kortes (11:07.296)
Ooh, love that.
Misty Kortes (11:26.545)
Wow.
Sam Bennett (11:29.538)
what it wanted to be.
Misty Kortes (11:31.402)
That’s so good. I love that. am such an index. I use the same kind of strategy when I coach clients is I say anything that pops into your creative mind, get it on a bit, get it on an index card and then quarterly pull all those cards out and you’re going to exactly the same process. You’re going to realize like some of these things really stand out to you. Others is you’re going to look at it go, why the heck did I even write this down? But what we have a tendency to want to do is chase every single thought.
Sam Bennett (11:41.742)
Hmm?
Sam Bennett (11:55.438)
What was I saying?
Misty Kortes (12:01.204)
which is crazy town and creates chaos and are in overwhelm in our lives. So that has a beautiful way to approach a book. I absolutely love that. I kind of did that. I didn’t do the index cards for writing the book, but I did little short like sentences and I would email them to myself, right? Cause I was like, I got to remember this. This is so good. Cause your mind, once you get an idea, your mind starts going to work and you can’t stop it. Really. I love that.
Sam Bennett (12:18.176)
that’s good.
Sam Bennett (12:26.926)
Right, right, right. So this is one of the qualities of the highly creative person, right? They’ve got a grillion ideas all the time. You’ve got ideas while you’re having ideas, you have ideas about other people’s ideas, you have ideas that wake you up at three in the morning. know, new ideas always seem more interesting than old ideas. The minute you have an idea, you’re like over it, because you’ve already thought of it, it’s a lot. And I will say, for those of you highly creative people out there who are going, yeah, that’s so me.
Misty Kortes (12:38.6)
It’s so true. gosh.
Sam Bennett (12:55.79)
Have you ever had the thing of somebody comes to you with an idea and you’re like, oh my gosh, that’s such a great idea. And then you could this and you could that. And you know what you could do is this and you watch their little faces do like this. It’s because they’ve only ever had the one.
Misty Kortes (13:03.818)
Ha ha!
Sam Bennett (13:09.74)
or the two or the five, like they’re not this endless font of ideas. you might be overwhelming them a little bit. And you might be overwhelming yourself a little bit, you know? So yeah, busting it down into tiny, tiny chunks, whatever it is for you, whether it’s writing a book or remodeling your house or cleaning out the garage or learning French or, you know, getting more fit or developing a prayer practice, like whatever matters to you. Spend 15 minutes a day on something that matters to you, right? And see where it leads you.
Misty Kortes (13:13.62)
Yep. Yes.
Misty Kortes (13:34.164)
Yes.
Sam Bennett (13:39.756)
you know, see again, what kind of person do you become as you do this? And you will be amazed at what you can get done in 15 minutes, particularly 15 minutes every day for a week, a month, a year, three years, 10 years. I have a client who just finished like 20, 2000 days of consecutive writing or something. Years she just started and she was like, you know, it’s like Jerry, you’ve heard the joke thing about Jerry Seinfeld and how he writes a joke every day and he puts an X on the calendar.
Misty Kortes (13:57.61)
Wow, that’s awesome.
Misty Kortes (14:07.144)
Yes!
Sam Bennett (14:09.408)
every time he writes some comedy. And now he’s been doing it for 30 years and he doesn’t want to break the chain. So even when he doesn’t feel like doing it or doesn’t feel like he has time, he still sits down and does it because he’s got 30 years of X’d out calendars. So yeah.
Misty Kortes (14:14.793)
Yes.
Misty Kortes (14:23.112)
found that too when writing the book. started off I was like I’m gonna do 15 minutes and I did the exact thing the 15 minutes a day I’m gonna start start off my day that way so instead of checking email and letting me get on that tangent instead of doing all the things like my normal habits I said okay I’m just gonna get up I’m gonna get ready and I’m gonna go and I’m gonna write first and what ended up happening is I got such into a writing groove that I wanted to keep going so then I ended up having to extend the time.
So yeah, it’s so true. It’s just the process of, think, getting started, right? Just starting.
Sam Bennett (14:54.414)
That’s so great.
Sam Bennett (14:58.85)
Definitely. Just starting and really start anywhere. I don’t outline. I’ve never taken a writing course. I don’t know what other people do when they write. I also don’t really edit. Like for years. And people always said like, writing is rewriting and writing is editing. And I was like, I must not be a real writer because I don’t really do that. I’m kind of a first draft writer. I go through and I make a kiter.
Misty Kortes (15:07.968)
Sure. I love that.
Misty Kortes (15:20.212)
Yeah, me too. I can’t let go of it because once I have it imprinted on the paper, I feel like it’s solid. Like it came out, it’s solid. It needs to stay. I totally agree.
Sam Bennett (15:27.342)
Yeah.
Sam Bennett (15:31.214)
Well, and this is the other thing I’ll say to those of you who are thinking about writing a book and you have this thing of like, oh, I’m not really writing. Yeah, you are. You’re just not writing it down. You know, it’s writing in your head all the time. So you just have to start writing it down. And then you have the sometimes you do write it down. You’re like, oh, this is terrible. Like, OK, fine. Let it be terrible. You know, and I’ve definitely done things where I like write it in the book. I’ll get stuck and I’ll just put an incredible story here later, you know.
Misty Kortes (15:39.102)
Yes! Ooh!
Misty Kortes (15:58.208)
Bye, Duda.
Sam Bennett (15:58.444)
Make this suck less later, you know? And again, changing the tone, like, you know, the voice is going, this is terrible, nobody’s ever gonna want this, who do think you are? I’m like, okay, maybe it is terrible. Always possible.
Misty Kortes (16:01.544)
Yes!
Misty Kortes (16:14.048)
I doubt it.
Sam Bennett (16:16.078)
It’s possible. So my question is always, do I know how to make this better right now?
Misty Kortes (16:22.516)
Yes.
Sam Bennett (16:22.552)
Do I know how to make this better right now? Because sometimes the answer is, I do know how to make this better. I can take out these adjectives. I can take out these adverbs. I can tighten this up. I can strengthen this verb. I can put a better joke here. Like, yes, I do know how to make it better. Other times I’m like, I still think it’s terrible, but I don’t know how to make it better. And that’s why God made editors, right? And sometimes stuff that I think is terrible, everybody else thinks is fine. you know.
Misty Kortes (16:40.128)
Mm hmm. Yes. Yo.
Misty Kortes (16:48.798)
The other thing I found too in that same line is I would read it to someone, you know, out loud or even read it to myself out loud just by, because what sounds good in your head doesn’t necessarily sound good when you actually read it, the words outside. And that would really help me work through things as well. And my husband, he’s so funny. We went to Mexico and I was working on the book and…
Sam Bennett (16:54.444)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Misty Kortes (17:15.168)
I was like in this writing groove, right? But then I hit a roadblock and I said to him, hey, I could use your help. So I started verbally reading it to him. So now he takes credit for those chapters. He’s like, remember when I helped you write your book? I was like, yes, I do. But it’s so true because when you get to speak it out loud, it just helps you work through it more for me anyways. Yeah.
Sam Bennett (17:29.294)
Yes dear, was all you.
Sam Bennett (17:38.294)
Absolutely. And it’s interesting. And I know some people can write books by speaking their books. They just record themselves, and then they transcribe it, and then they edit and refine from there. I tried that. And it turns out it doesn’t. Because even though I have a very conversational writing style, it’s different from my actual conversation. It’s different from my speaking voice. And that was disappointing to find out, because I was like, I really thought I could do this.
Misty Kortes (17:50.346)
Yeah.
Misty Kortes (18:00.33)
Yeah.
Misty Kortes (18:06.245)
Right? It feels like a shortcut almost because it’s
Sam Bennett (18:07.886)
It feels like a shortcut. And for some people it is. For some people that totally works. I’m just not one of them. But yeah, reading it aloud is great. yeah, and just telling stories. I’m thinking about my friend Katherine Machan, she had a time years ago, she had just lost her dog, which was so sad, right? And she and her, I don’t remember if they married at the time, but her boyfriend, her husband, he was taking her up to Big Sur to like, don’t know, like a feel better trip. You know, like, let’s take a trip.
Misty Kortes (18:10.868)
For sure.
Misty Kortes (18:24.898)
Mm. Yeah.
Sam Bennett (18:37.486)
And on the way up the coast he started telling her this story about a dog and their owner and They get to I think post ranch in and she gets out of the car and like he tells her the story the whole drive up there She’s got they get another time. She turns on her the recording on the phone. She’ll say it again It was dogs purpose Made up this the story to console her and now it’s like an empire. There’s movies and books and
Misty Kortes (18:56.896)
yeah.
Yeah.
Sam Bennett (19:07.03)
her books and all the, you know. Can you imagine if he’d never said that story out loud or if she never told him to write it down? I mean, that book has brought so much comfort to so many people. You know, and again, is it a great work of literature? Who cares?
Misty Kortes (19:09.086)
Wow. Yeah.
Misty Kortes (19:17.084)
Absolutely.
Misty Kortes (19:23.124)
That’s it. That so that’s a big one. want to I want to talk more about that because you know, I don’t know. Or maybe it’s just me. You know, when I first started writing the book, I was like, I need them. I need millions of people to read it. And then I came down and I don’t know. I felt like this was almost maybe me. Settling. I don’t think it is. I’m just going put that up. I thought, no, you know what? If one person reads it and takes something from it.
So like speak to that because I think sometimes we can like set these either two bigger goals that ends up pushing us, I think, into perfectionism because now we’re like, I have to write to the millions. Where for me, when I realized, no, I just need to write it for one person. And I don’t even care if, honestly, at one point it didn’t even matter if one person read it. It was therapeutic for me, you know?
Sam Bennett (20:15.086)
Right, right, right. Yeah, I think, I mean, first of all, chances are your book will not be widely read. Most books, I believe 95 % of books, sell between 200 and 2000 copies total lifetime.
Misty Kortes (20:30.516)
Yep. Well, what percentage of people actually read? Like…
Sam Bennett (20:35.478)
A shocking number of people have not read a book in the last year or have not read a book since high school. There’s also a really depressing statistic about how many people never make it past the first chapter of a book. So make your first chapter good. If there’s anything you want them to know, put it in the first chapter because there’s a good chance they’re not going to move past it. And I also just as just for the readers out there, I often hear from people of like, gosh, you know, I start books and then I don’t finish them or I start a workshop and then I don’t finish it.
Misty Kortes (20:40.02)
That’s crazy. To me.
Misty Kortes (20:45.567)
Yes.
Yeah, very true.
Sam Bennett (21:04.642)
I’m like, you know what, that’s probably not you. That’s most books, particularly nonfiction books. Like the first third’s really good. The second third’s okay. And by the time they get to the last third, it’s like, there’s nothing there. Yeah, there’s nothing there. Same thing with workshops. Like the first two sessions are great. Session three starts to slide a little bit. And by the time you get to session eight, there’s really, there’s not that much going on. So it’s not true of Misty, it’s not true of me, but it is true of some teachers out there and you know who you are. So make your stuff better. But I also,
Misty Kortes (21:13.396)
They lose it. Yep.
Misty Kortes (21:22.048)
You
Misty Kortes (21:26.208)
Yeah.
Sam Bennett (21:34.702)
You know, there’s things we can control and things we can’t control. And you kind of have to let your project be as big as it wants to be. Let it be as big as it wants to be. Some books, yeah, they want to be international bestsellers. And quit stepping on the neck of it. Like, let it do that. Other books want to be, you know, smaller and like I said, have a meaning for you or have a meaning for one other person. I will also say that the device of writing to one person is really helpful.
Misty Kortes (21:41.236)
Mm-hmm.
Misty Kortes (22:04.458)
Yeah.
Sam Bennett (22:04.738)
When I was writing Get It Done, first of all, this is a really fun thing. Look at the other books that are kind of like your books on Amazon and look at the one and two star reviews. What did people not like about that other book that’s kind of like yours? Right? Like, I thought this would be more this way, or I kind of thought it would be this way, but it’s that way, or I found it too much this way. And one of the words that kept coming up was preachy.
Misty Kortes (22:22.216)
Ooh, that’s good.
Misty Kortes (22:32.992)
yeah.
Sam Bennett (22:33.902)
I thought this book was preachy. I was like, okay, the last thing I want is for my book. I want to preach, but I don’t want to be preachy. So one of the things I did was I made a picture in my mind of my first husband’s mother. I love all my husbands. have several. My first husband’s mother is a wonderful, wonderful woman. She still is. She grew up in Massillon, Ohio, lives in Akron, Canton, Ohio. Like, and she calls herself crafty.
Misty Kortes (22:38.366)
Yeah. Right. I love that.
Misty Kortes (22:50.174)
Hahaha!
Sam Bennett (23:02.382)
She would never call herself an artist, but she calls herself a character. She makes quilts, she sews clothes, she makes dolls, she cooks and bakes and makes ornaments and does all kinds of fun things. Yeah, and she loves it and she’s great at it. she’s just a very, like, really what you think of when you think of like a plain spoken Midwestern person, right? And so if I were sharing, you know, the information and get it done with her, I mean, I would never want to…
Misty Kortes (23:11.264)
Nice.
Sam Bennett (23:31.768)
preach to her or talk down to her or condescend, you know, she’s really intelligent. But she also likes things straightforward and simple. Like I wouldn’t overly embellish or get too fancy with. So like having her in my mind, like how would I write this to Midge? That really helped me. So if you’re having trouble, think of one person that you would really love to share this with and write it really specifically to them.
Misty Kortes (23:47.152)
Yes. Yes.
Misty Kortes (23:56.916)
Yes. Like your sh-
Sam Bennett (23:57.484)
And even including like weird little in jokes and stuff, because it’s weird how much, how well it translates.
Misty Kortes (24:01.99)
Yeah, because it’s like talking to a friend. It’s just having a casual conversation with a friend. when you take that frame of mind, it makes it a lot easier conversation. The same is true in marketing. the people who I know exactly when people try to talk to the masses, they’re trying to appease everyone and try to, you know, it just does not work. It doesn’t work ever. And so having that one person in mind and you start for me.
Sam Bennett (24:14.222)
I was just thinking that.
Misty Kortes (24:30.984)
I actually ended up hiring someone to help me a little bit in terms of getting my focus because I was all over the board. was like, mine was a personal memoir with a self-help component, right? And I have so many stories. I mean, you can’t be on this earth 50 years and not have a lot to say, right? And so like I needed to hone it in on an objective of sort. I now know that word. didn’t know that word then. I didn’t know what that even meant. was like, what are you talking about?
Sam Bennett (24:53.72)
Yeah.
Misty Kortes (24:59.248)
She’s like, you need to have one person that you’re trying to reach. And I was like, okay, that makes sense to me because from a marketing standpoint, you know, so that really, really did help. So take notes on that. If you’re if you’re thinking about writing a book or have started writing a book, go back to the books that you started and go, who am I speaking to? And like, what’s the point? Why am I writing this? What’s the point?
Sam Bennett (25:23.448)
So this is something that I talk to people a lot about when I do consulting and teach on writing. Not only do you want to think about, yes, who is the reader for this? Because I just have too many friends who wrote great books, and then they were like, gosh, I never really thought about who would read this. Or I never really thought about how I would market this. And then they’re selling 200 copies of a book that really should sell 100,000 copies.
Misty Kortes (25:36.704)
Right.
Misty Kortes (25:43.646)
You just hit actually real quick, cause I don’t want to break your thought because I know you have some genius to share. If you, when you write the book to the one person, but then you’re also marketing to that same person, like they go hand in hand. I just want to point that out. Okay.
Sam Bennett (25:55.214)
Yeah. That’s right. Yeah, exactly. Right. And you don’t have to have writing language the same way. Like if you start using marketing, like writing marketing, it’s going to sound awful. It’s going to sound stupid. Same thing when people try to write like a writer, like that’s going to sound stupid to just speak to the person you’re speaking to. So what do you want the outcome to be for the reader? What do you want them to do, or have by the end of the book? You know, do you want them to buy your T-shirt? You know, and then what do you want the result to be for you?
Misty Kortes (26:24.148)
Yes. that’s good. Yes.
Sam Bennett (26:24.468)
you’re a business, right? So, right, so you want and then how can we structure the book to make that outcome more likely? So like, let’s say you want to have more keynotes, right? And great, so maybe we structure the book like a keynote. And maybe we even use your slides like as headers or something. And then maybe we certainly tell stories in the course of the book about your amazing keynotes, because we want people sort of thinking along that track.
And maybe we even put a QR code on the book so people can see one of your amazing keynotes without even buying the book. Right. So again, knowing who you’re writing it for, what do want them to do and what do you want to happen for you really starts to shape how you can innovate and write a book that’s not like everybody else’s book, that is really unique to you.
Misty Kortes (26:57.403)
Nice.
Misty Kortes (27:14.686)
Yes, I did not do that. knew I wanted, I did. Well, no, I should have. I should have. And it came later, luckily, and it aligned later, luckily. Because first of all, didn’t understand, I didn’t really think about the objective of the book at all. And so that, that made it really hard for me. I had a lot I wanted to say and I had the gist of the stories, but I, but they weren’t making sense to even me. I was writing stuff, but I wasn’t.
Sam Bennett (27:17.742)
Fair.
Misty Kortes (27:43.572)
the stories were just going all over the place like my mind. So if you wanted to have a little piece of what this is like every day, that would have been it. But it would not have made for a good read. once I got the book objective, was like, okay, great. Then I could whip out the book. The book became a lot easier. And I had that one person in mind and who I wanted to read. But what I didn’t do is I didn’t think about how does this play out in my professional world?
Sam Bennett (27:45.58)
Yep.
Sam Bennett (27:52.077)
Yeah, yeah.
Sam Bennett (28:02.158)
Sure.
Sam Bennett (28:12.288)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Misty Kortes (28:12.68)
in the business world because I’m a marketing coach and now I’m writing a personal memoir and self-help and I tell I say in the book I am NOT a therapist how I overcame and learned my lessons is not advisable right do not do what I did but
Sam Bennett (28:24.568)
No.
Sam Bennett (28:28.878)
Take me as a negative example.
Misty Kortes (28:35.904)
So here I was in a space and I didn’t know how that fit into my business world. So having that objective would have made things a lot easier for me. Yeah, like what do I want this book to do for me?
Sam Bennett (28:46.478)
It’s like you’re going to the grocery store going, okay, I want to cook the most amazing dinner ever. Well, okay. know. But if you think, oh, I want to cook the most amazing dinner for Misty. Well, I know she doesn’t like shellfish and I know she loves, I don’t know, ribs or whatever. Like I’m going to make the things that are going to be good for her that I can also sort of do. Right? Like once we know what it’s for, it’s a lot easier. Right?
Misty Kortes (28:51.39)
Yes. What?
Misty Kortes (29:08.243)
Sure.
Misty Kortes (29:14.432)
That’s a good analogy. That’s really good. Yeah. And yeah, I love this. Okay. Um, I, we, we went all over the place. So my, questions, I my questions I had prepared. I don’t even know. Let, all right, let’s, let’s talk about perfectionism again, because that is a big thing. Obviously it holds us back in our business life and our personal lives and, writing a book, but
Sam Bennett (29:16.152)
Right? Yeah.
Misty Kortes (29:40.788)
how can we let go of that? You know, there’s a scary part of publishing a book. I felt the same way and I’m, I feel like I’ve pretty much mastered overcoming perfectionism. I feel like I’ve figured that out at this stage of life. But then it came creeping back in when it came to the book. And then I, so I hired someone to actually go through and edit things for me because I’m, that’s not my thing. I will not see my own mistakes.
Grammarly can only do so much. God for Grammarly. And then so they edited it and then afterwards I had this self-doubt creeping in and then I went in and you know added a little bit more here and a little bit more there and I had three typos when I published. Three.
Sam Bennett (30:22.956)
You’re always going to have typos. The I automatically corrects for typos. it’s, yeah, I mean, and you’re just not going to see it. yeah, OK, so perfectionism is a really big word that covers, it’s kind of an umbrella word. Like we use it to describe a lot of things. And what I would suggest, if you feel like your perfectionism is really keeping you stuck in any area of your life, I think the real question is, what am I afraid of?
Misty Kortes (30:27.124)
That’s nice.
Misty Kortes (30:36.788)
Hmm.
Misty Kortes (30:50.944)
you
Sam Bennett (30:51.97)
What am I afraid of? Because I think there’s something that we have an idea like, if it’s perfect, then I won’t be criticized. If I don’t make mistakes, then I won’t be criticized. As children, a lot of us, our mistakes were not met with grace. Our mistakes were met with criticism, derision, punishment, teasing, yelling. I think there’s also…
Misty Kortes (30:59.476)
Yes.
Misty Kortes (31:06.72)
Mm-hmm.
Sam Bennett (31:19.958)
a visibility issue for a lot of people. Again, not exactly a member of the happy childhood club. For many of us, you know, the ability to turn invisible on a moment’s notice is what kept us alive, literally alive. So, you know, it’s no surprise you’re to turn around to yourself 35 years later and go like, okay, take center stage. Like, That’s how people die, right? So, you know,
Misty Kortes (31:25.308)
I love that.
Misty Kortes (31:34.58)
Yeah. Yeah.
Misty Kortes (31:42.72)
Are you crazy? No way. No thank you.
Sam Bennett (31:48.662)
I think this is keeping me safe from criticism. I think this is keeping me safe from being burned at the stake. I think this is being kept safe from disapproval, from being thrown out of the tribe, from my own weakness. Like, what is it really? And it’s probably a lot of things. And then once you’ve sort of named the fear, you can kind of start to make friends with it a little bit. I mean, if nothing else, you can sort of invite the monster out from under the bed and just like, it can just sort of…
lay on the bed next to you. You don’t have to hold hands or anything. You just be like, I see you fear. your fear is as smart as you are. Your fear is as spiritually developed as you are. Your fear is there to keep you safe, right? It’s a protection thing, survival mechanism. It’s not going away. People say like, Rhonda Britton is one of my closest friends and she’s always like, fearless living. I’m like, Rhonda, that’s ridiculous.
Misty Kortes (32:27.892)
Yep. It’s a protection mechanism for sure.
Misty Kortes (32:40.646)
am so glad that you say, I have said that for years. I’m like, I don’t know how do you get rid of this fear? I have worked years, many therapists, still here. So I feel the fear of do it anyways, right? That’s, yeah.
Sam Bennett (32:53.386)
Exactly. Field of Career is one of the greatest book titles of all time, right? So, yeah, so one, but when you can get more specific about what are you actually afraid of, and then sometimes I’ve even had success, this gets little self-helpy, but like, invite that fear to get promoted and get a better job. You know, like, my god, it has to be perfect, it has to be perfect, can’t be any type, great, you’re the editor.
Misty Kortes (32:57.034)
Exactly.
Misty Kortes (33:14.986)
Hmm, how do you do that?
Misty Kortes (33:20.586)
Ooh, there you go.
Sam Bennett (33:21.23)
Please keep, thank you, fear. Please keep an eye out for grammatical errors. That would be great. I appreciate that. You know? Well, I don’t want people to think that I’m all that. Great. Let’s both help keep my ego in check. That hasn’t been a problem up to now, generally. Kind of the opposite. Kind of underselling myself. A little more ego, a little more, a little more big dick energy, I think wouldn’t hurt a lot of us. My friend was just saying yesterday, she’s like, I wish I had the confidence of a media or a white man.
Misty Kortes (33:36.224)
Yep. I think we could all use a little more ego sometimes.
Yeah. Yeah.
Sam Bennett (33:51.31)
But yeah, so, you know, can you can you have a conversation with that fear? Can you give that fear a name, you know, and and then can you remind yourself what’s the truth?
Misty Kortes (33:52.81)
I said.
Misty Kortes (34:04.626)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, that’s so good. It is because that it creeps in and it creeps in at all the different stages of writing the book too, right?
Sam Bennett (34:14.862)
it’ll come out from the floorboards in a you never suspected.
Misty Kortes (34:19.328)
It comes out just in the beginning, just to start, it creeps in. It’s like, who are you? What do you mean? Trying to come up with the perfect title, the perfect outline, the perfect everything. And then you’re like, okay, I’m going to move past this. I’m going to get started. And then you get started. You get the momentum going. You’re feeling good. You’re like, oh yeah. And then all of a sudden you’re like three, I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me. I’m three quarters of the way done with the book. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m like, this thing’s going to get done. We’re going to launch it. This is going to be amazing. And then I’m like, yeah.
You gotta rewrite chapter one.
Sam Bennett (34:49.996)
I think it’s gonna start over. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, for sure. And then you get to the point where you need to give it to beta readers and then that’s terrifying. Book launch.
Misty Kortes (34:56.638)
And then I hand it over and then I’m like, like it’s finalized. This is it. Like this, can’t change the words now. I can’t, it’s so scary at all the stages. It kicks in at all the stages. It’s not just like once you overcome it, you don’t see it again.
Sam Bennett (35:14.284)
You know, one of the weirder things that happened to me in my first book launch is it was really cool. My family came out, which we’re not a really get together family. So it was cool. And I was living in in the Central Coast at the time. So what do you do with the whole family? You take them whale watching, right? Works for the little kids, works for the grandparents, works for everybody. Beautiful day on the water. Book launch is insane because there’s 47 bazillion things that you really should have done.
Misty Kortes (35:31.39)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Sam Bennett (35:43.086)
this morning, should have done yesterday, it should have done three years ago, like, it’s really overwhelming. And, you know, so you just kind of keep dog paddling along, do what you do, and then here you are at pub date, and you’re like, okay, this is what it is. And I was freaking, I was legit freaking out, you know? I could feel it, I could feel my heart going, I could feel my mind racing. And, and then, it was a beautiful day on the water. And then we saw the whales, and the dolphins, and the seals.
Misty Kortes (35:46.484)
Yes.
Sam Bennett (36:14.222)
And the profound indifference of nature was so comforting to me. I was like, this earth is over 70 % water. This planet actually belongs to them. Right? And that whale does not care about me. That book, that whale does not care that I wrote a book. I am completely insignificant in this moment. And that like calmed me down.
Misty Kortes (36:18.086)
Mm-hmm.
Misty Kortes (36:25.128)
Absolutely.
Thank
Nope.
Thank
Sam Bennett (36:41.198)
So much. I don’t know if there’s other nature lovers out there who feel the same thing, but like when I look at the clouds, I look at the stars, I look at the trees and the mountains, I’m like, okay, Bennett, get over yourself. Like you’re a speck on a speck on a speck on a speck.
Misty Kortes (36:52.934)
Exactly. Yep. I say you’re a speck of sand on Daytona’s beach. That is it. And I I so relate to that because I can’t tell you how many times I was like, let’s just sell it all, get a van, live on the beach. Screw it.
Sam Bennett (37:02.222)
Exactly, exactly.
Sam Bennett (37:13.39)
100%. 100%. I’ll take the parking spot next to you.
Misty Kortes (37:17.472)
I still use the analogy today because I often think it’s not out of it’s not it’s still not out of reach. No it’s so good it’s so good. but all right let’s bring it back to you’ve written bestsellers okay. So what’s one thing that you did that you feel like you did right in the process that could help someone now?
Sam Bennett (37:24.311)
Sure.
Sam Bennett (37:45.23)
That’s one thing I think I did right. I wrote the book that I kept trying to buy. I wrote the book that I wanted to read because I kept reading, you there’s a lot of organizational books out there that are great, you know, and how to be more efficient and manage your calendar and manage projects better. But, know, highly creative people don’t care who’s moved their cheese. Like, that’s not our thing. We don’t care about that. So there was something lacking.
Misty Kortes (37:53.268)
Hmm. I love that. Yeah.
Misty Kortes (38:08.576)
Alright!
I have that book too.
Sam Bennett (38:14.936)
So there’s something lacking in those books. then, but then all the creativity books, most of them fell into what I call the purple crayon school of creativity and like, unleash your inner arm. Like, no, no, I’m plenty unleashed. That’s not, that’s also not the issue. A little extra leaching might be helpful. so I just couldn’t find a book that was talked to that spoke to the highly creative mind.
Misty Kortes (38:26.208)
We need to rein it in!
Sam Bennett (38:41.002)
and was about project management, was about like, do you move forward when there’s no right way? Right?
Misty Kortes (38:45.376)
especially when the creative mind does not want to be managed.
Sam Bennett (38:49.71)
People tell me all the time, they’re like, just need a plan, Sam, I just need clarity on my plan. I’m like, if I gave you a 10 step plan that would 100 % work, you would turn it over and start doodling on the back of it. So don’t give me this. I don’t believe you for a second, right? So it’s very, and there is no right way. There’s no right way to be an entrepreneur. There’s no right way to market. There’s no right way to be a parent. There’s no right way to be a friend. There’s just your way.
Misty Kortes (39:00.4)
Exactly. So true.
Misty Kortes (39:16.48)
Just figure your shit out.
Sam Bennett (39:18.168)
Figure your shit out. So what are the tools and devices and exercises and imagination games that I have that can help people like tune into like, yeah, this really works for me or this helps me or this is how I want to do it. Great. You know, when people talk about marketing, marketing has to be the worst word ever. Like, I don’t know why marketers who specialize in finding words for things picked the word marketing because it has nothing to do with the action of marketing.
Such a stupid word. It makes everybody feel bad. It’s like networking. Like everybody immediately feels terrible. But so I ask people to pick a different verb. Like, how would you like to interact with your customers, with your readers? You know, would you like to dance with them? Would you like to tango with them? Would you like to do magic for them? Would you like to preach to them? You know, would you like to whip them? You know, Daniel LaPorte used to send out the daily whip. You can do it your way, right?
Misty Kortes (39:45.449)
Yeah.
Hahaha
Misty Kortes (39:54.622)
Mm-hmm.
Misty Kortes (40:04.35)
Right?
Misty Kortes (40:09.792)
Yeah, love it.
Sam Bennett (40:13.272)
but you have to lean into what that is and trust that the people who dig it will find you. And better yet, the people who don’t dig it will not find you.
Misty Kortes (40:20.638)
Yes, that’s so good. And you’re going to find the person who picked it up and had an expectation for the book and it wasn’t for them. And that’s okay. That doesn’t mean it was a bad book. It wasn’t for them.
Sam Bennett (40:30.514)
I waited for my first one-star review because I was like, I’m not a real writer until somebody hates it. And sure enough, eventually somebody wrote a review that’s like, well, this book’s all that just rah-rah, you can do it stuff. I’m like, well spotted. Yes, that’s exactly what that is. The clue is in the title.
Misty Kortes (40:35.679)
Right.
Misty Kortes (40:46.076)
Yeah. Ding ding.
Right.
Right?
Sam Bennett (40:57.814)
I was like, yeah, but if you don’t like that, you’re definitely not going to like this book, you know?
Misty Kortes (41:01.042)
Yeah, but it doesn’t make it a bad book. That’s it. That’s the key. All right. So the one thing that you did right. Now let’s talk about the one thing you did wrong. I know I have one, but I’ll share it after.
Sam Bennett (41:03.694)
It just wasn’t for that person, which was fine, great.
Sam Bennett (41:15.361)
Hmm.
Misty Kortes (41:17.96)
In retrospect, we can’t see it in the process, by the way.
Sam Bennett (41:20.766)
Yeah, this is more something I think, well, I think I did it wrong now, but I think I actually have an idea that’s gonna make it right in the end. But the thing I think I did that I could have done better with 15 minute method is taking people to a step to to say like, hey, if you want the worksheets, or you want this extra audio, or you want the workshop or whatever, come to my website and opt in. And, you know, so really using it as a list, more of a list builder and a community builder.
Misty Kortes (41:28.851)
okay. Yeah, exactly.
Misty Kortes (41:40.008)
Sam Bennett (41:48.27)
Get It Done is pretty good about that. It’s got a lot of like, get the worksheets, get the audio, get the things, special little bonuses and stuff. 15-Minute Method doesn’t really have that very much, and I sort of wish it did. I think a lot of people are reading it, and then I never hear from them because I didn’t really show them what the next step could be to getting into my world.
Misty Kortes (42:07.39)
Got it. Yeah, no. Well, and I think that, you know, being in marketing, I know sometimes always worrying about the next step and the next step and the next step can actually hurt you too. You know, it can get you too far ahead of yourself.
Sam Bennett (42:20.238)
For sure. And we’ve definitely read those books where you’re like, okay, I get it. You have consulting services, like back off. Well, and there’s a lot of people out there who are like, no, this is just a, you know, a trade size business card. You know, it’s the business card that no one will ever throw away. And that’s not a wrong reason to write a book. I mean, sure, whatever works for you. But I prefer to get more value than that.
Misty Kortes (42:27.797)
Right. Let me read the book for God’s sakes first.
Misty Kortes (42:36.831)
Mmm.
Misty Kortes (42:43.541)
Yeah.
Sam Bennett (42:47.37)
books that feel like just the books that just feel like a sales pitch are not very interesting I think to read.
Misty Kortes (42:47.38)
Sure.
Misty Kortes (42:51.848)
I totally agree. I totally agree. me, when, so I was so hyper focused on writing the book and getting through that process, I wasn’t thinking about how to actually sell it. And I’m a marketer. Like I wasn’t, and I think that the reason why I got the book done, it was a sigh of relief. It was like, And then I was like, crap.
Sam Bennett (43:06.53)
Right? Right?
Misty Kortes (43:20.746)
Who’s gonna buy this? Like, I don’t even know, because it was such a stark difference from what I did on the daily in my life. So I felt like I needed a whole new audience to share that with. And I know that was partially me and my fear coming in and giving me an excuse, validated excuse to not want to offer it.
Sam Bennett (43:27.854)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Sam Bennett (43:33.271)
Yeah.
Sam Bennett (43:43.854)
That’s the thing your fear does best, is it comes up with all the things where you’re like, no, that’s not, I no, no, no, no, and then it comes up with the one thing and you’re like, oh.
Misty Kortes (43:51.204)
yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Sam Bennett (43:52.526)
It will stop you dead in your tracks. And sometimes we don’t need to know. mean, this is like, like I said, this may have turned out to be a blessing in disguise because the award that she got nominated for is, or shortlisted for was an outstanding work of literature in the FYE category. I did not, I did not know what FYE was, but probably some of you parents of teenagers do. It’s First Year Experience.
Misty Kortes (44:09.706)
Wow.
Sam Bennett (44:16.298)
So colleges and universities have figured out like, if we give freshmen a little extra attention, some social groups, some learning pods, some extra assets and support, they’ll do better. you know, give them, cause they’re sort of out of the nest for the first time, they need help. And they’re not Gen Z like us. They weren’t raised by wolves the way we were.
Misty Kortes (44:16.388)
Misty Kortes (44:26.773)
Yup.
Misty Kortes (44:34.164)
That book is absolutely.
Sam Bennett (44:43.054)
So now, so all of a sudden I’m like, oh, that’s amazing. So you appreciate this. So I reached out to my publisher. I’m like, so does this mean we could do like a push to college and university bookstores? And they’re like, um, I’m like, okay, can I do a push to college and university bookstores? They’ll go, that would be great. I’m like, okay. So I wait. And so now I’m like, Hey, chat GPT, what are the neurologists and universities that have best FYE programs? And then I said, please write me.
Misty Kortes (44:59.69)
Yeah. Well, that would only make sense.
Sam Bennett (45:11.21)
a letter, you know, to the bookstore owners, you know, in the style of Sam Bennett promoting this book. Here’s a letter in the approachable and engaging style of Sam Bennett. like, I love it. The chat has an opinion about my writing. And then I handed off to my VA and she’s, you know, emailing people and I don’t think we have any results yet, but I’ll let you know. So, you know, in some ways, the fact that I did not have a big plan inside of my head left me open to the gift of this new plan. I would never have thought of college students as a
Misty Kortes (45:22.716)
Right?
Misty Kortes (45:30.495)
That’s awesome.
Sam Bennett (45:40.108)
audience for this book, but yay.
Misty Kortes (45:42.368)
Yeah, absolutely. It totally makes sense. I I wouldn’t, I wasn’t thinking of it. I was, you know, very self-absorbed in my own world of what can I take from this? But hearing that, totally makes sense that that would be a good place to kickstart them off in the right direction. And I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know if these two are correlated, but this is my analogy of it. you know, with, I think what’d they say? Like one in, I don’t know, 40 kids are diagnosed with
some form of ADHD, ADD, all that, all the stuff that our food, that our food’s doing to us. But, so if that’s the case, I would call that the creative mind. I think they’re misdiagnosed as creative and not diagnosed as creative, but they’re diagnosed as that personally, but that’s me. So knowing that though, that the vast majority of people have this creative spin in their mind constantly, that’s a play, that’s what the book they need.
to help them.
Sam Bennett (46:42.902)
Yeah, it’s really good for helping overwhelm. mean, it’s just whatever the thing that is overwhelming you is, including your own ideas and thoughts. I agree. mean, I think there was an underdiagnosis again when we were kids, because the only word was weird. You know, that was it. was weird. Hyper hyper, but too sensitive. I got a lot of that too dreamy, you know, all that. The.
Misty Kortes (46:55.796)
Yeah. Weird and hyper. Yeah.
Sam Bennett (47:08.782)
And yes, but I’m so glad now that we’re starting to look at the narrow spiciness of it all and going like, brains, different brains work differently. That’s interesting, right? And there’s a normal, there isn’t even a better, there’s just different brains work differently in the same way that different bodies are different sizes. Doesn’t make one better or worse, just means it’s a different size. And…
Misty Kortes (47:14.996)
Yeah. Yeah.
Misty Kortes (47:20.074)
just different.
Misty Kortes (47:25.876)
Yup.
Sam Bennett (47:31.148)
There is, also saw recently a Venn diagram of autism, ADD, ADHD, and giftedness because there is overlap in many of these things. And there’s a few things that match everybody, all those categories. And I thought that was an interesting way to look at it because I am definitely, my brain definitely does not work the way everybody else’s does, but I’ve never bothered to get diagnosed and I don’t know why I would, it doesn’t.
Misty Kortes (47:40.254)
Mmm.
Misty Kortes (48:01.108)
and I’m not gonna take medication to stop it. It actually was what makes me me. Now I do have to acquire some skillsets to rein it in a bit to get shit done. otherwise I would just be a cluster in my mind sitting in the corner probably rocking.
Sam Bennett (48:05.422)
100%. 100%.
Sam Bennett (48:11.146)
What? exactly.
Sam Bennett (48:18.286)
Let’s pull the covers up over. day.
Misty Kortes (48:21.884)
Right? So there are some skill sets there that I needed to acquire, but now that I have that, I’ve recognized that as actually what makes me unique. So yeah, we should embrace that. So, all right, let’s end with this. We have to tackle it because it is the buzzword. Is AI cheating? Is AI cheating in writing? Can we use it? Is it okay? Is everybody going to judge me? Is okay. I know this is a big conversation.
Sam Bennett (48:31.918)
That’s right. 100%.
Sam Bennett (48:42.178)
No. No. Of course.
Yeah, I mean, it’s the same again when we were kids, you know, and those big computers calculators came in and we all just spend like $90 on a calculator, which was insane amount of money. And all the parents were like, they’re never going to learn math now. Like, okay, well, first of all, I was never going learn math, no matter what tool you gave me. I don’t do good with I don’t do so good with numbers. But, but no, it’s just a tool to do harder problems faster, right?
Misty Kortes (48:58.367)
You’re right.
Period.
Sam Bennett (49:16.994)
to not have to spend all this time with these sort tedious calculations. I think chat’s kind of the same way. First of all, let me back up a little bit. I don’t think we even know what the internet is yet. Right? I don’t think we even know what we’re in this. I think we’re still in like, it’s like Wyoming 1880. Like I don’t think it’s like nothing but wide open space and nobody has any idea what’s going on. And certainly chat is in large language models. Like we have no idea what that is or where it’s going. So I wouldn’t rush to judge any of it.
Misty Kortes (49:27.776)
Mmm.
Misty Kortes (49:32.928)
Right?
Sam Bennett (49:47.193)
and
NNNN
Yeah, chat’s a tool. mean, it’s useful for many things, but it can never capture your voice. It does. And your imagination and your intuitive leaps. mean, chat doesn’t know Midge. couldn’t chat. Couldn’t write that book to Midge, right? Chat wouldn’t like, so just not know. We showed all the books. Here’s the third. Here’s the second book. Start right where you are. How little changes can make a big difference for overwhelmed procrastinators, frustrated overachievers and recovering perfectionists.
Misty Kortes (50:01.928)
No, and your stories and your personal experiences. just…
Misty Kortes (50:09.876)
Yep.
Misty Kortes (50:18.302)
Yes!
Misty Kortes (50:24.264)
I love that.
Sam Bennett (50:24.45)
This book is for overwhelmed people, right? And so there’s like 67 chapters or something, like, and they’re all like one, two, three page chapters with little action step at the end, because I’m not going to write a book for overwhelmed people and then give them giant blocks of text and long chapters. That’s not going to be very efficient, right? So the things I know about how to talk to people, I’ve learned from my life experience. Chat doesn’t know that. And you have to be careful because again, not all information is on the internet. Not all information is in chat. So.
Misty Kortes (50:26.976)
Mm-hmm.
Misty Kortes (50:37.632)
All right.
Sam Bennett (50:55.01)
I think you need to be extra diligent in removing all that chat sounding stuff because there is a way. But no, I don’t think it’s particularly for stuff like the about the author section. Like when you’ve got to write about yourself and you’re like, you know, that’s horrible for everybody. But chat can give you a really good start, you know, and then you can write the hypest possible version, you know, like really exaggerate my accomplishments and it’ll it’s great, you know? And then again, it gives you something to edit and
Misty Kortes (50:59.999)
Yeah.
Misty Kortes (51:12.404)
Yep. Yeah. Absolutely.
Sam Bennett (51:24.192)
many times it’s easier to start with something rather than starting with a blank page. But don’t
Sam Bennett (51:32.814)
Okay, here’s the sentence I just thought of. Chat, GPT cannot pray for you. Only you can pray for you.
Misty Kortes (51:38.08)
Right. Yes. Yeah.
Sam Bennett (51:45.974)
even if it gives you some of the words. I I just did a retreat in California and my partner that I teach with, she had Chet create a tapping script for us. Yeah. So yeah, I think it’s a terrific tool and like all tools, it needs to be handled with care, and there are definitely people who will mismanage it and overuse it.
Misty Kortes (51:56.584)
Nice. Yeah.
Misty Kortes (52:09.044)
Yeah, but they’re like you said, mean, shoot, people who have spent a lot of time energy into writing really good books, know, a lot of people don’t get past the first chapter because they’re not they’re just not interesting enough. They may they lose interest, whatever the case may be. But if you’re using G, I call them G, it they them, whatever the heck it is. If you’re using G, relying solely on that from for a point of view, for the words, for the stories.
It’s just not going to be that engaging. It’s just not.
Sam Bennett (52:39.374)
It’s like how terrible the internet is for research, right? If you’re looking to validate your own opinion, the internet’s fantastic because you will find a hundred people who will say exactly what you want them to say. But if you’ve ever had a medical condition and you’ve looked for like, you know, should I have this surgery or not? Good luck. Because the reputable sites aren’t going to tell you, you know, and the more consumer-driven sites are going to be like, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was a nightmare and I’m so ruined. You know, it like…
Misty Kortes (52:42.846)
Yes.
Misty Kortes (52:47.216)
Absolutely.
Misty Kortes (52:57.524)
Yeah, right.
Sam Bennett (53:08.928)
You’re not, you’re going be more confused than ever. You’re not going to get the right information. So just recognize its limitations. That’s, that’s all. And pay attention to it as it grows. You know, I think it’s foolish to be like, I will never know. No, it’s like, yeah, people thought that. my gosh. And then there were warnings against the horseless carriage that driving that fast was going to be disastrous for people’s health, particularly women, you know, that going 10 miles an hour was terrible.
Misty Kortes (53:08.948)
You’re gonna be more confused than ever.
Misty Kortes (53:16.349)
Absolutely.
Misty Kortes (53:22.624)
In a year, in the last year, it’s evolved so, so much. Yeah.
Misty Kortes (53:29.984)
Right? Right? I look at G as, and I use G for my book. It’s kind of like my husband. We’ve been married for so long now. I just, I’ll start a sentence and then my mind goes into another direction. I didn’t realize the words came out the mouth. And he’s like trying to finish the sentence because he’s like, where were we going with this?
Right? That’s the way I use G. I’ll write the sentence and I’m like, I’ll put question marks where I need a word that I can’t find the word. You know what I mean? So he kind of finishes my sentences for me. It was really nice for that.
Sam Bennett (54:04.178)
huh.
Sam Bennett (54:07.97)
Well, and I just saw a demo of a medical student who fed a really complicated text around, I don’t know, kidney function or something into the thing. And it immediately fed back to him a very naturalistic-ish sounding podcast of like, Jennifer, tell me what the thing about kidney function is. my gosh, Ben. The thing about kidney function is that the ba ba ba ba ba and the ba ba ba ba ba ba are totally different. No way. Yeah. And right. So now he’s getting to learn it early in a conversational style.
that matches his learning style. It’s like talking to real humans. I also just saw a demo of another voice-activated one where it was, again, a very human-sounding voice, going, that’s a good question, Misty. Well, I think, blah, blah, blah, blah. Is that what you’re looking for? you want it more like this? OK, give me a second to think about that. Like, wow, a thought partner. That’s really interesting.
Misty Kortes (54:37.952)
so we can talk to real humans.
Misty Kortes (54:58.15)
Yes, I love it.
I’ll put, I would put chapters into G and I would say, does that make sense? Like as if I was, know, like, am I making sense in what I put here? Cause I don’t know that it’s connecting the dots in the story and G would be really great at saying, well, I think you’re missing a little component here. And I was like, that’s so right. It’s such a tool. I don’t think, I don’t think it’s advisable to use it as a straightforward, just write the whole book kind of thing, but it,
Sam Bennett (55:22.932)
So helpful.
Misty Kortes (55:31.348)
definitely can help in the process too. Yeah. I think we need to give people permission on that because there’s, you know, two sides to the coin at this point still. Yeah. Yeah.
Sam Bennett (55:33.57)
For sure,
Sam Bennett (55:40.706)
There’s definitely copyright issues. There’s a lot of the artists and stuff I know are deeply concerned. People in the graphic arts are deeply concerned, and they have every right to be. again, the technology, know, when the printing press came along, the calligraphy went down. I just talked to somebody who found out that she could get a job, a part-time job in the library of records, don’t know, Library of Congress or something, because she can read and write cursive.
Misty Kortes (55:56.499)
Yeah, exactly.
Misty Kortes (56:09.061)
wow, that’s crazy.
Sam Bennett (56:10.008)
So they need her to like decipher older documents. I’m like, cursive is like, it’s like calligraphy. Like, no, knows how to do it. I’m like, that’s insane.
Misty Kortes (56:18.752)
That’s insane. That’s crazy. We were taught that not that long ago. Dang it.
Sam Bennett (56:23.852)
Right? And I still will write in my journal in cursive because to me it still feels like a magical secret language that only I can read.
Misty Kortes (56:29.894)
I actually do a combination of both. I’m looking at my handwriting over here. Yeah, I’m a combination of both. think it’s more laziness because my cursive wasn’t ever that great to begin with. But no, this is so good. Thank you so much for sharing. I could do this literally for the next couple hours with you. Just talking about all the nuances of it. This isn’t your traditional approach to writing a book and this is exactly what I wanted because
There’s enough traditional approaches to writing a book. And for me, when I went down that path, it became very overwhelming, very quickly. So for us creative minds that are overthinking things, that have so much to share. Like we have so much to share. I even said, like writing my book, even if I just leave it for my family.
If my kids, kids, kids want to read about me and my stories, I’ve left that as a legacy. Like that’s, yeah, that’s important to me. If no one else in the world ever read it, although they have, but if no one else in the world hadn’t read it, I have that. And it’s therapeutic. mean, I wasn’t doing a business book. I have done business books as well, but.
Sam Bennett (57:24.301)
Yeah.
Yeah, that’s beautiful.
Misty Kortes (57:46.144)
This was therapeutic for me. So I just think that we all have a story to share and we need to share it we need to, you know, find that courage. And I think that you’ve probably, you know, as people are listening to this, they’re going to find that courage in themselves. So thank you. I appreciate you.
Sam Bennett (57:59.81)
pleasure. Thanks for having me. Me too, you. I’m so glad to see you.
Misty Kortes (58:03.612)
Me too. All right. So so many takeaways. All right. How can they how can they find you?
Sam Bennett (58:09.582)
I’m at www.therealsambenet.com. You know my team keeps threatening to make the fake Sam Bennett. Which is gonna be me with like, Scott going, don’t do anything, no one cares. So therealsambenet.com and I’m on all the socials as The Real Sam Bennett.
Misty Kortes (58:13.056)
Okay.
Right?
Misty Kortes (58:20.544)
I love it. I love it.
Misty Kortes (58:26.312)
Yeah. And I’m going to make sure that I link to all her socials, her website, and of course, all of her books. You need to buy them all. They’re like I said, in the very beginning, they’re so clear, so concise, so tangible. are, it just, just in the way that you approach the topics makes it so simple that my, my messy mind just hones in and focuses. And I love that. So I love when I get to read books like that, because sometimes I read books and it makes my mind.
Sam Bennett (58:51.618)
That’s great. Thank you.
Misty Kortes (58:56.308)
worse. So thank you for that. So I’ll link to all of her books and that’s it. So thanks so much for tuning in. I appreciate you all. And with that, I’ll see you guys again next week. Bye.
Sam Bennett (58:57.272)
Yeah.