Entrepreneurship comes with a lot of pressure. We hear things like hustle harder, grind it out, push through, but what we don’t hear enough about is the toll it can take on our mental health.
Because here’s the truth: Building a successful business shouldn’t come at the expense of your well-being.
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, exhausted, or like you’re carrying the weight of your business alone, then this conversation is for you. Today, I’m sitting down with my good friend Heather Dopson to talk about how we can prioritize both mental health and success—because you deserve both.Heather is an entrepreneur, a mental health advocate, and someone who gets the challenges of balancing ambition with self-care. She’s been there, and now she helps others find balance, manage stress, and build thriving businesses without burning out.
How to connect with Heather:
- Website: https://heatherdopson.com
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heatherdopson
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hdopson
Watch The Live Call
Full Transcript
Misty Kortes (00:01.69)
Alrighty. Hello, hello and welcome. Okay. We have a real conversation today and I’m super excited about it. You guys know me. I’m usually showing up. We’re talking marketing and business and all of those things are important, but this topic really is important. You know, as an entrepreneur, it comes with a lot of pressure. You know, we hear things like hustle harder, grind it out, push through, but what we don’t hear often enough
Heather Dopson (00:05.233)
Okay, we have a real conversation today and I’m super excited about it. You guys know me, I’m usually showing up. We’re talking marketing and business and all of those things are important, but this topic really is important. As an entrepreneur, it comes with a lot of pressure. We hear things like, hustle harder, grind it out, push through. But what we don’t hear often enough is the toll that it can take on our mental health. And here’s the truth.
Misty Kortes (00:29.728)
is the toll that it can take on our mental health. And you know, here’s the truth, building a successful business shouldn’t come at the expense of your wellbeing. And so if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, exhausted, or like you’re carrying the weight of your business and the world alone on your shoulders, then this conversation is for you. Because today we’re sitting down with a good friend of mine, Heather Dobson.
Heather Dopson (00:34.821)
successful business shouldn’t come at the expense of your well-being. And so if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, exhausted, or like you’re carrying the weight of your business in the world alone on your shoulders, then this conversation is for you. Because today we’re sitting down with a good friend of mine, Heather Dobson, and we’re going to talk about how to prioritize mental health and success because you can have both.
Misty Kortes (00:56.942)
And we’re going to talk about how to prioritize mental health and success because you can have both and you deserve both. Right? So Heather is an entrepreneur. She’s a, she’s a mental health advocate and she’s someone who gets the challenges of balancing the ambition with our self care. She’s been there and now she’s helping others find that balance as well so that we can manage our stress and we can build a thriving business.
Heather Dopson (01:03.907)
and you deserve both. Right? So Heather is an entrepreneur. She’s a she’s a mental health advocate, and she’s someone who gets the challenges of balancing the ambition with our self care. She’s been there. And now she’s helping others find that balance as well, so that we can manage our stress, and we can build a thriving business, and we don’t have to do it, burning out. Right? So welcome so much.
Misty Kortes (01:26.028)
and we don’t have to do it burning out, right? So Heather, welcome so much to the show.
Heather Dopson (01:30.993)
Thank you. I’m, I am ecstatic to be here with you Misty. Um, kind of back with a great crowd of, of people who I love, like entrepreneurs, especially when it comes to, to small businesses. Like this is my jam. This is where I love to be. And I’ve been so fortunate to have been in the small business space and serving small businesses for a long time.
Misty Kortes (01:58.178)
Yes. Well, our roots, I don’t know if you know this, but like, was thinking about this this morning, maybe before we jumped on here is we probably met over 10 years ago. It was when I first became a partner of Keep. Yeah.
Heather Dopson (02:02.299)
years.
Yeah, for sure For sure. Yeah more than 10 years ago. I can’t even remember the year I started at Infusionsoft formerly known as Infusionsoft now known as keep But it was more than 10 years ago. It was 12 or 13 years ago I think I can’t remember Christina Kehoe would know the exact day because we started then we started the same day
Misty Kortes (02:18.414)
Yeah.
Misty Kortes (02:31.266)
Yeah, it’s crazy. It’s crazy how time flies. you know, I’m, I don’t know if you know my story, but I’m originally from Michigan. I moved out here. This will be my 15th year. And it’s just crazy. It’s, we say it all the time. And I think the older I get, the more I really do, you know, all the mature people, I’m calling them mature people because I’m in that age bracket now, right? All the mature people.
Heather Dopson (02:35.108)
you know my story, but I’m originally from Michigan.
Heather Dopson (02:40.297)
Yeah, it’s crazy. you. Thank you.
Misty Kortes (02:58.146)
my 20s and 30s and they were like time flies and you’re just not gonna you know and I was like yeah yeah yeah no it really does it really does okay
Heather Dopson (02:59.857)
Yeah, yeah, what is the saying that the days are long, but the years are fast. That’s the same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Before you before you jump in with the question, I just I have a little disclaimer up front and just just a tiny little bit of background.
Misty Kortes (03:11.552)
Yes, that’s, and it’s so true. It’s so true. So we have such an important topic. I want to go ahead and I want to dive right in. So I’m going to, I’m going to start off with a tough question already just to begin us. Yeah.
Heather Dopson (03:29.873)
I am not a medical professional. I am not a therapist. I am not any of that. And none of this information is intended as that or replacement. What I am is a, I am a military veteran. I am a former law enforcement officer. I am a long time entrepreneur. And more importantly and more relatable is that I am a human being.
Misty Kortes (03:30.115)
Okay.
Heather Dopson (03:57.819)
Having this experience on this crazy fucked up planet that we live on along with everybody else and along the way I have had an opportunity to develop some self-awareness and some coping mechanisms and all these kinds of things and I am adamant about I know I was placed on this planet to serve other people and I do that in whatever capacity I can and I feel like conversations like this are extremely important.
Misty Kortes (04:04.622)
Absolutely.
Heather Dopson (04:27.749)
So I just want to get that disclaimer out there so people are like, what does she know?
Misty Kortes (04:34.03)
No, and I love that and I love that you say that because you know, so I don’t know if you know but I published a book last year and It’s a personal memoir But it’s also kind of I turned it into kind of like a self-help book as well at the same time so people can cover their own stories and I call them moments right just things that happen to us that shape us into who we are and how we show up and You know, I was just saying to my husband the other day like
Heather Dopson (04:37.327)
You
Uh-huh.
Heather Dopson (04:43.981)
I turned it into kind of like a self-help as well.
And I call them moments, right? that happen to us, that shape us into who we are and how we show up. I was just saying to my husband the other day, there isn’t a day that goes by and I’m just so blessed. I get emotional about it. Try not to.
Misty Kortes (05:02.414)
There isn’t a day that goes by and I’m just so blessed I get I get emotional about it I’m trying to Is because I have someone you know contacting me saying I read your book It just means so much to me. It’s so relatable and I and it’s and it’s so empowering But I said to my husband I have no business giving people advice on how to overcome their shit like none Like I wrote that book more as a therapy for me hoping that if someone read it that maybe they are related to it
Heather Dopson (05:10.001)
you know, contacting me saying, read your book, just means so much to me, it’s so relatable, and it’s so empowering. I tell my husband, I have no business giving people advice on how to overcome that shit.
Heather Dopson (05:25.39)
Yeah Yeah Yeah, but you’re self-aware about that and you know, I mean, know that I I am Extremely open about my challenges. I have diagnosed depression anxiety and PTSD. I have all three of those things and I have
Misty Kortes (05:31.434)
am not a therapist and I do not help people overcome it. And probably the way I overcame most of my trauma was not healthy, but we’re here. We’re here and we’re showing up, right?
Heather Dopson (05:53.819)
for years. I mean, I was diagnosed with depression in my 20s. I’m 52 now, so this has been a, you know, this has been a lifetime. Like, this is a lifetime. And when I share, inevitably, I have multiple people who message me and say, I felt like you were talking to me specifically.
Misty Kortes (06:06.008)
Yes.
Heather Dopson (06:20.233)
or I needed that or that’s so relatable. And that’s why I do it because it’s just as the, like, we’re not alone and everybody experiences challenges. You may not have a clinical diagnosis of something, but we all experience challenges and we all have, go through hardships and we all have mental health challenges. We all do. And if somebody tells you that they don’t, they’re either a liar or a sociopath, which is a mental health problem.
Misty Kortes (06:21.88)
love that.
Misty Kortes (06:47.726)
Right? Absolutely. You know, no one leaves this world unscathed. We all have lost. all experience things. So you’re so right. So let’s start with this. Why do you think that mental health is such a, it’s a hidden struggle in entrepreneurship? Why do you think that is?
Heather Dopson (06:49.841)
Yeah. Absolutely. No one leaves the world unscathed. Yes. We all have lost.
Heather Dopson (07:00.069)
Yeah. Yeah.
Heather Dopson (07:11.809)
Yeah, I Think for the most part it is a it is a cultural thing especially in men and especially in fields where You’re expected to show up and be strong mean speaking as a veteran and speaking as a former cop Like, you know, the last thing you want to do is to be seen as weak
And I think that that all leads over into entrepreneurship as well, right? Because when we are building our business and creating our business, we don’t ever want to be seen as weak. We don’t want to admit to faults or vulnerabilities or any of that kind of stuff because we don’t want to be perceived as weak or as a failure or anything like that. And we’re not successful. Yeah. As an entrepreneur, if I,
Misty Kortes (08:03.438)
Yeah, that we’re not successful, right? Because as an entrepreneur, I share where I’m falling short, then I must not be successful in my life. And that’s so not true. Yeah.
Heather Dopson (08:10.757)
then I must not be successful in my life. That’s so not Correct, correct. Yeah, and I think that’s a big component. I think that that’s one side of it. Another side of it is, you mentioned at the top of the show, grind it out, hustle, like, you know, all of these kinds of things. And for so long, we were stuck in this hustle culture. Hustle or die. Remember those shirts and everything?
And I want to be the first to say I am a huge fan, lover, supporter of Gary Vaynerchuk, of Gary Vee, like huge. And his first book, Crush It, was a real impetus behind me going full in and starting my business a very long time ago. But I never bought into or agreed with his like, I’m gonna hustle, hustle, hustle, because that’s not sustainable.
Misty Kortes (08:47.33)
Me too.
Heather Dopson (09:06.617)
It is just absolutely not sustainable. I have seen a shift since 2020. 2020 was a real shit show of a year for people. And I think people started coming to the realization of shifting priorities a little bit of, my job. And especially if they have jobs or they have businesses where maybe took a real hard hit in 2020, people have started.
shifting into I want to enjoy my life and I don’t want to be working 24 hours a day, seven days a week and there is more to life than this brand that I’m building and all of that. And so I think it’s kind of compounded in this just kind of cultural aspect of don’t ever show weakness, don’t ever cry, don’t ever, you know, like it’s this along with I think remnants of, I call it the bro culture and I don’t mean that.
Misty Kortes (09:55.768)
Yeah.
Heather Dopson (10:03.033)
in a really in a derogatory term. I don’t mean that, but it is this bro culture of like this hustle or die or grind it out or all of that. thankfully I’m seeing shifts towards the positive in both of those, but I don’t think it’s fast enough. Like we are here on this planet for such a finite time and we don’t ever, ever, ever, ever know when our last breath is and people forget that.
Misty Kortes (10:32.152)
Yeah.
Heather Dopson (10:33.061)
Like we’re all gonna die. Everybody you know is going to die. And that’s not morbid. That is factual. And a motivator. It should be, yeah.
Misty Kortes (10:38.486)
Absolutely.
Misty Kortes (10:43.276)
and a motivator. Right? I’m at the top of the hill. can see, you know, absolutely. No, I’m so glad that you brought that up. know, so two things come to mind that I kind of want to just chime in on that. First of all, I remember reading Gary’s book as well. That was just before I started my marketing agency. And it was a big piece of what inspired me to go, wow, there’s such a huge possib like opportunity to be able to serve people.
Heather Dopson (10:48.961)
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Absolutely. No, I’m so glad that you brought that up. know, some good things come to mind that I kind of want to just time in on. Yeah. First of all, I remember reading Gary’s book as well. That was just before I started my marketing agency. And it was a big piece of what inspired me to go, wow, there’s such a huge opportunity to be able to serve people in this capacity. So he opened my eyes up to that. But you’re right. As I read the book, I was like, at the time I had four young kids. Yeah.
Misty Kortes (11:11.904)
in this capacity. So he opened my eyes up to that. But you’re right, as I read the book, I was like, at the time I had four young kids. We had just moved to Arizona. They were all in school. I’m a mom, I’m a business owner, I’m a wife. I’m all these, I’m juggling all these things and I’m thinking to myself, like, am I a loser because I don’t want to hustle? Like, you know I mean? Those thoughts came to my mind more often than I’d probably like to admit. And so I think that
Heather Dopson (11:18.865)
to Arizona. They were all in school. I’m a mom, I’m a business owner, I’m a wife. I’m all these I’m juggling all these things. And I’m thinking to myself, like, am I a loser? Because I don’t want to hustle. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah.
that I’d probably like to Yeah. So I think that, you know, you know, there may be people who are in a different stage of their life. My kids are old, older, I call them. they’re old. not. know how that goes. Yeah. Yeah. And I have more freedom and flexibility now. But now I want that time with my husband. Yes. different intellect. The second thing that you brought up
Misty Kortes (11:40.494)
you know, there, you know, there may be people who are in a different stage of their life. My kids are old, older. I call them old. They’re old. I’m young. You know how that, they’re older. And, um, I have more freedom and flexibility now, but now I want that time with my husband, you know, in a different meaningful way. The second thing that you brought up with 20, with 2020, I think in my personal opinion, the reason why we are valuing this
Heather Dopson (12:02.573)
I in my personal opinion, the reason why we are valuing this while we’re letting go of the hustle culture, because I’m seeing it too, is because we got a glimpse of what life is supposed to be like. It’s not supposed to be the way that we were living prior to 2020. When COVID hit, I was kind of embarrassed. I was doing a podcast interview and someone asked me a question about it and I said,
Misty Kortes (12:08.91)
while we’re letting go of the hustle culture and cause I’m it too is because we got a glimpse of what life is supposed to be like. It’s not supposed to be the way that we were living prior to 2020. When 20, you know, when, when COVID hit, was, I was kind of embarrassed. did a, I was doing a podcast interview and someone said, asked me a question about it. And I said, you know what? It kind of feels like we’re on vacation right now. And I like it.
Heather Dopson (12:33.005)
Yeah, yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
Misty Kortes (12:38.274)
And I felt bad after saying it because I was like, they’re selling this huge like trauma, which obviously people did die, like horrible things happen. And I was like, I actually had a sigh of relief, like, my gosh, I get to slow down and there’s no traffic and I don’t have to worry about a of stuff. I don’t know if anyone else felt like that. So I’m just glad that you brought that up because it is so important. So.
Heather Dopson (12:59.617)
I definitely saw it like that and it was a catalyst for some change in my own life in a lot of different ways. Prior to that I was traveling extensively and while I loved it I also at the time was in a relationship and wanted to go all in on that relationship which was a mistake.
Misty Kortes (13:15.374)
Mmm.
Heather Dopson (13:27.535)
But that’s what I wanted to do and I, yeah, that’s another episode. But it did, you know, really, like it shifted my mindset. Not that I was ever bought into the hustle culture. And by the way, this is the perfect time to mention this. I am a person who does not enjoy getting up early in the morning. I don’t. I am a night owl. I stay up late. I work, typically I work.
Misty Kortes (13:30.51)
Another story.
Misty Kortes (13:51.785)
Thank
Heather Dopson (13:56.099)
Late, work at night because that’s when my brain functions the best. If I have writing or whatever, I’m doing it at nine, 10, 11 o’clock at night because that’s how I am made up. And I am sick and tired of entities telling us you’ll never be successful if you don’t get up at four o’clock in the morning or five o’clock in the morning. You have this very strict routine. There’s nothing wrong with the routine. But to continue to
Misty Kortes (14:08.942)
That’s how it works for you.
Heather Dopson (14:24.977)
tell people you’re a failure or you’re a piece of shit if you don’t get up at four o’clock or you don’t… To shame people is, to me, it’s disgusting. Like it’s just disgusting.
Misty Kortes (14:38.466)
I totally agree. And here’s how I learned this lesson. Have four kids. They’re all completely different. you cannot, you cannot walk away with having a family or two kids or whatever and go, everybody’s the same and everybody needs to do the same thing to get the same outcome. Cause it’s just not, it’s not true. And I totally agree when I hear people say that and I’ll be, I’ll be honest.
Heather Dopson (14:43.129)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Heather Dopson (14:51.229)
or two kids or whatever and go everybody’s the same and everybody needs to do the same thing to get the same outcome because it’s just not true. I totally agree when I hear people say that and I’ll be honest in my 20s I used to be like really hardcore like these are the rules this is what you have to do yeah because I was learning those things myself and I was being a sponge and then actually as I lived life I started realizing that’s bullshit.
Misty Kortes (15:05.526)
In my 20s, I used to be like really hardcore, like these are the rules, this is what you have to do. And because I was learning those things myself and I was being a sponge. And then actually as I lived life, I started realizing that’s bullshit. That’s all bull.
Heather Dopson (15:18.105)
You have to you have to find what works for you and then you have to be constantly reassessing that because as your life as you Mature as the years go by your life changes your situations change you go from having little kids to bigger kids to older kids you Move you have your in-and-out of relationships or whatever. So it’s a constant evolution I’m a I’m a big believer of like our lives are a series of evolution
Misty Kortes (15:29.89)
Yes.
Heather Dopson (15:47.587)
It’s not, I’m doing the same thing today that I was doing five years ago or 10 years ago. Like it just doesn’t, it just doesn’t work like.
Misty Kortes (15:49.419)
Absolutely.
Misty Kortes (15:59.63)
I think if you are, that might be a challenge.
Heather Dopson (16:01.937)
I was gonna, I held back a little bit there. I think generationally we’re not there anymore. I think like my parents generation it was you go, you get a job, you work at that job until you retire or die and then you retire and you’re bored out of your mind, right? Or then you are doing the things that you wanna do or you’re so sick.
Misty Kortes (16:11.79)
Mm-hmm.
Misty Kortes (16:26.85)
Yep. Yep.
Heather Dopson (16:31.181)
and unhealthy because you haven’t taken care of yourself in all that period of time that you are just kind of waiting, waiting for the end. That’s a very generational thing. And as we look at different generations, I’m Gen X and I mean, we can really look at it generationally and understand that it’s just not like that anymore. And there are some holdouts of like, you keep the same job, you work at the same company. If you have a job,
That, like, it blows my mind when people are at a company for 10 or 12 or 15 years. If it’s working for you and you’re continuing to progress and you’re continuing to learn, great. But often I find that people get stagnant and when they’re at one company for that long or longer, they don’t have any exposure to the outside world, to the real world, right? I call it, it’s like being institutionalized. It’s like being in prison and you only know what you know.
Misty Kortes (17:19.086)
Yeah.
Misty Kortes (17:25.612)
Yup.
Misty Kortes (17:31.096)
Yup.
Heather Dopson (17:32.025)
And that’s why from an entrepreneurial perspective, it’s so important to have a wider lens and look at what different brands are doing, big brands, small brands, companies you admire, looking at that to create some inspiration and motivation for yourself and what you’re doing.
Misty Kortes (17:40.398)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Dopson (17:55.665)
I used to think when I was younger, because you know, our parents, right. stayed at a
Misty Kortes (17:56.014)
Absolutely. I used to think when I was younger, because you know, our parents, that generation, you’re right, they stayed at jobs for a long time. And when I would start to feel that unsettled feeling about the eight to 10 year mark, I was like, is this me like giving up? Am I thrown in the towel? I weak? Am I ADHD? Like I’m trying to diagnose why I’m bored. Why am I bored with my life right now? I recently turning 50, I closed my agency last year.
Heather Dopson (18:03.697)
start to feel that unsettled feeling about the eight to 10 year mark, was like, is this me like giving up my phone and the towel in my week in my ADHD? I’m trying to diagnose why I’m bored. Why am I bored with my life right now? recently turning 50, I closed my agency last year. Yeah, very profitable. very one that retired my husband gave us an amazing life. And I’m like, I don’t want to do this anymore.
Misty Kortes (18:25.174)
a very profitable, very one that retired my husband gave us an amazing life. And I’m like, I don’t want to do this anymore. And my husband knows me enough now we’ve been together long enough where he’s like, okay, what are going to do that? Like, but rewind when I was in my twenties and thirties, like I was making these major shifts in my life and I’ve thought it’s, it was me. thought it was, I thought it was a problem, but
Heather Dopson (18:32.887)
husband knows me enough now we’ve been together long enough yeah like yeah rewind when i was in my 20s and 30s like i was making these major shifts in my life and i thought it was me i thought it was i thought it was a problem but i can see in retrospect so i’m glad that you’re bringing this up like it’s not a problem that we make changes so i call it now what i because i said to him i’m too old to be starting over i kept saying that i was finding myself rewinding that in my brain all the time yeah and i
Misty Kortes (18:49.902)
I can see in retrospect, so I’m glad that you’re bringing this up. Like it’s not a problem that we make changes. So I call it now, cause I said to him, I’m too old to be starting over. I kept saying that I was finding myself rewinding that in my brain all the time. And I, and it was almost like God, he woke me up in the middle of like the night one night. And I, I mean, I darted out of bed and he’s like, you’re not starting over. Stop saying that you’re just changing lanes. And I was like, holy shit. It’s so true because it’s not like,
Heather Dopson (19:02.809)
And it was almost like God woke me up in the middle of like the night one night. And I mean, I darted out of bed and he’s like, you’re not starting over. Stop saying that. We’re just changing. Yeah. Yes. And I was like, shit. Yes. So true because it’s not like starting over is like completely new, clean slate, never did it before. Hey, even that. Okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. But I was like, I really don’t want to start over. I want to take everything on the sum of all the lessons.
Misty Kortes (19:20.002)
starting over is like completely new, clean slate, never did it before. And hey, even that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. But I was like, I really don’t want to start over. I want to take everything on the sum of all the lessons, all the, and I just want to change lanes because I don’t want to sit at my desk anymore. I don’t want to be 10, 12 hours a day behind my computer. I want more freedom, flexibility and control. And I want a business that gives me that. this is, I’m excited about this conversation, but
Heather Dopson (19:32.721)
And I just want to change lanes. Yes. I don’t want to sit at my desk anymore. I don’t want to be 10, 12 hours a day behind my computer. I want more freedom, flexibility and control. And I want a business that gives me that. So this is I’m excited about this conversation, but I want to go to. Yes. What are some early signs that entrepreneurs are on the verge of burnout or they need to change running? Yeah, it’s a it’s a great question. And
Misty Kortes (19:49.23)
go to this. What are some early signs that entrepreneurs are on the verge of burnout or they need to change lanes?
Heather Dopson (20:02.499)
such a critical component of our mental health is to develop self-awareness. And that’s where this question comes in, right? It’s like, how do I know if I’m losing my mind or if I’m just tired or I need to eat a banana or whatever, right? And yeah, yeah, maybe I need some water, like take a nap. Yes, hangry is a real thing and we all know that. But it’s…
Misty Kortes (20:21.058)
Wait, have I eaten in a while?
Misty Kortes (20:25.802)
Angry!
Heather Dopson (20:31.121)
You have to be paying attention to what’s going on with you, with your body, with your brain, with your business, with your relationships around you. I, in my experience, when I was younger, before I started really like focusing on this stuff, if I look back, one of the very first signs for me is either retreating
from the world, so retreating from the people who I love and adore and who love and adore me, right? Isolation. That is like a very real action that you might not even notice at first, but it is, for me it was maybe before that, I was being a real asshole to people. Like I don’t know what’s going on, but.
but I’m finding myself being very short with people and people I love, like would do anything for and people who love me back. so my initial remedy for that was, then I’m just not gonna talk to people, right? I’m grumpy, I’m just gonna go in my hermit hole and not have any interaction. That is a huge sign. Now, it- Can I stop you there too Yeah, yeah.
Misty Kortes (21:29.336)
you
Misty Kortes (21:45.112)
Yes.
Misty Kortes (21:52.846)
Thank you.
It’s so true. Can I stop you there too for a second? Cause I’m an introvert. I like being by myself. That’s a normal everyday Misty. But then when I would have those moments where I was like, you know, thinking about changing lanes, it was scary. It was all that stuff. I would find myself retreating more and more and then choosing unhealthy habits. Yeah.
Heather Dopson (21:59.011)
introvert. Yeah. I like being by myself. That’s a normal everyday mistake. Yes.
Heather Dopson (22:07.633)
Thinking about changing lanes, was scary.
Heather Dopson (22:13.07)
Yes Yeah, yeah, I People who See me I’m not as I’m not in the public eye as much as I used to be and People used to be surprised to find out that I’m I leaned more introverts than extroverts. I am an only child I Enjoy being by myself. I really do like I I enjoy being by myself
Misty Kortes (22:38.99)
Thank you.
Heather Dopson (22:41.051)
But there is such a difference between recharging, like enjoying time with yourself. And I like to be home by myself. I like to do whatever I want to do. And isolating. the isolating hiding, when people are texting you or calling you to check up on you and you’re not responding to them. And a day goes by and then two weeks go by and then a month goes by.
Misty Kortes (23:06.952)
Okay.
Heather Dopson (23:09.289)
or you are retreating from activities that you enjoy. I mean, is a real, when you go, I go to the VA, when you go to the VA and they make you, they use a Likert scale and you have to circle, you know, that’s one of the things. Have you stopped doing things that you enjoy? Or do you not enjoy the things that you used to, something like that. That is a real sign. And it doesn’t mean, my gosh,
I have clinical depression and I need to go get meds or whatever, but it is a symptom of something bigger. And that’s where you need to have the self-awareness to go, okay, what is going on with me? And again, it’s different than just being like, again, I love being by myself. I love my friends too. But when people are checking up on you and you’re not responding to them, that I think is, that’s probably the biggest sign.
kind of being an asshole to people who you love and then isolating, right?
Misty Kortes (24:08.12)
Yeah.
Misty Kortes (24:12.238)
Thanks.
That’s another one I want to highlight for a moment, because we can breeze over these things as, yes, so even as introverts, we can go more introverted in an unhealthy way. We can gravitate to things that are not healthy for us, and we know that they’re not, and we’re doing it repeatedly. And then we first, we get angry at ourselves because we’re like, why do I keep doing this? And I know I shouldn’t, and I am. And then secondly, you’re triggered by everybody, by everybody.
Heather Dopson (24:17.137)
Yeah, yes Yeah Yeah, yeah, everybody and everything yeah
Misty Kortes (24:44.546)
That was me. And I blamed menopause. I was like, it’s menopause. It’s not me. No, it was nobody.
Heather Dopson (24:46.833)
it’s menopause, it’s not me. Now don’t get me wrong, hormones, as a woman of a certain age, hormones definitely can impact stuff, but again, it’s about that self-awareness of what’s going on, what can I attribute this to, what changes can I make. And I am not saying that we need to be connected all the time.
Misty Kortes (24:55.192)
Play a role.
Heather Dopson (25:13.393)
actually the opposite of that. You need to take digital detoxes. Go a weekend without touching your phone or your computer or your TV or anything electronic for your eyeballs. Get out in nature, go look at some leaves, go feel the wind in your face. Seriously, those are the things. But don’t do it to such a level of where it’s detrimental to your own being and detrimental to your business.
Misty Kortes (25:18.872)
For sure.
Misty Kortes (25:25.994)
Amen. Amen.
Heather Dopson (25:43.179)
and to the people around you who love and support you.
Misty Kortes (25:49.366)
Absolutely. Like if you can’t drive to Costco or the grocery store and not get irate, we need to do some introspection. And I only speak from experience. Right? That’s how I started realizing like you need to get a grip. Come on. Right? So no, I love that. And I think that a lot of entrepreneurs can probably relate to that if they’re on that verge of burnout. Right? So, so let’s talk about this.
Heather Dopson (25:49.445)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Heather Dopson (26:13.772)
Yeah.
Why do so many entrepreneurs again hesitate to talk about mental health and you know, how can we kind of change that narrative? I know that’s big question. It is a big question and I have lots of thoughts on this and one thing, okay, first of all, a million years ago there was this sketch, I think it was on MADtv and it’s Bob Newhart who
Misty Kortes (26:18.208)
Why do so many entrepreneurs again, hesitate to talk about mental health and you know, how can we kind of change that narrative? I know that’s a big question.
Heather Dopson (26:44.977)
A lot of people are not old enough to remember, but Bob, yeah, I know. But yes, but Bob Newhart is a therapist and this woman goes and she’s like, I remember what her issue was, but he’s, you know, she’s telling him her issue and he goes, stop it. And she’s like, what? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. He’s like, well,
Misty Kortes (26:49.294)
I remember this! I know where you’re going. Yes.
Misty Kortes (27:06.188)
It was debt. I was in personal finance at the time and we used to relate to that. So she was in personal debt and he’s like, yeah.
Heather Dopson (27:14.705)
Stop it. And she was just like, wait, what do you mean? Da da da da. he’s like, he’s like stop spending money. Yeah. Yeah. Stop. Stop it. Stop thinking that way. Now it seems so simplistic and it is, I mean, it’s meant to poke fun and there are some simplistic context to that. But that’s the thing is that, I mean, I’m not kidding. could show you, like two days ago I told a friend of mine that I said the only person
Misty Kortes (27:21.144)
He’s like, stop spending money you don’t have. She goes, what? Stop it.
Heather Dopson (27:43.995)
who thinks less of you right now is yourself. So knock it off. And she was like, oof, that was harsh in a good way. And anybody who knows me knows that I’m I’m unvarnished honesty. Like this is what I’m gonna do. But so I think that there’s the self-awareness component, paying attention to like what is going on. The second thing is don’t be afraid to connect
Misty Kortes (27:49.358)
100%. Absolutely.
Heather Dopson (28:13.347)
reach out, have a conversation with other people. I try to stay away from the phrase ask for help because that phrase seems to be a sticking point for people. I don’t need help. I can do everything by myself. Like I don’t, I don’t, which is bullshit. None of us, none of us are where we are at any level of success.
Misty Kortes (28:40.386)
Yep.
Heather Dopson (28:42.841)
because we’ve done it by ourselves. No one. I don’t care who you are. If you want to bring it, bring it. I don’t care. Like we have all had to depend on other people.
Misty Kortes (28:52.822)
In my book, I talk about how independence is a self-mechanism. It’s a self-preservation mechanism oftentimes. Yeah, we do that. It is.
Heather Dopson (28:55.053)
It’s, yeah, it is, yeah. It’s a trauma response. Like hyperindependence is a trauma response. Like no bullshit, it is. So connecting with other people and sharing your story, don’t be afraid to do that. And you’re not going to your friends or your loved ones or whatever seeking therapy.
Misty Kortes (29:04.588)
Yep. Yep.
Heather Dopson (29:23.097)
you are seeking to have a conversation. to, a lot of times we have all this stuff in our head and if it comes out of our mouth, as it comes out of our mouth, our brain goes, holy, holy shit. Like, that makes a lot of sense. Or, yes. Yes.
Misty Kortes (29:41.898)
to process it. I’m processing it as I speak it. That’s why I wrote my book. When I had to put the words to how I was feeling, it’s therapeutic. It helps you work through and it helps you realize where I was going off the rails mentally about things that weren’t true but I was creating stories in my own mind. Right? Because when you speak the words you’re like, that sounded ridiculous.
Heather Dopson (30:00.721)
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah the creating yes
Heather Dopson (30:09.163)
Yes, exactly. I, you know, I just a personal experience that I had many years ago that I think is relatable is I’m a veteran. I have a disability rating. I qualify for care at the VA, right? And several years ago, probably 15 years ago, I was really struggling mentally, physically. Like I just, I just had
Misty Kortes (30:12.622)
Yeah.
Misty Kortes (30:27.832)
Okay.
Heather Dopson (30:37.945)
a lot of stuff going on. probably one of my, no not probably, definitely one of my all time favorite people in the world, my crazy aunt Leah, who’s no longer with us, but she was a person who I went to for all things because you wanna talk about unvarnished honesty. She was like no bullshit. And I remember having a conversation with her about like, I feel, I don’t.
Misty Kortes (30:41.258)
Mm-hmm.
Misty Kortes (30:59.544)
So.
Heather Dopson (31:05.425)
I don’t have any, you know, like there’s a lot of stuff going on and she’s like, go to the VA, make an appointment at the VA. And I said, I just don’t want to do that. She’s like, why not? And I said, because there are people who have it worse than I do. There are people that are missing limbs and have brain damage and there are people that have it so…
Misty Kortes (31:22.574)
that’s a good one.
Heather Dopson (31:33.921)
much worse than I do, I don’t want to take an appointment away from a veteran who needs it.” And she was like, bitch, you need it. Like, it’s there for you. And I think that that is something that we get stuck in, right? Of my struggle is nothing compared to her struggle or to his struggle. And so that can be…
Misty Kortes (31:58.846)
We can be so ridiculous at times. We’re so competitive as humans, we even compete on our traumas.
Heather Dopson (32:01.333)
Yeah. Yeah. Like, just stop the comparison. Just stop. Just stop the comparison. Your challenges are true and real to you and are no less significant than somebody else’s and at the same time are no more significant than anybody else’s. We’re all human beings. We’re all having shit. We’re all going through life.
Misty Kortes (32:10.85)
Yes.
Heather Dopson (32:31.305)
And I think that’s such an important thing to remember is don’t make the comparison and don’t think, don’t ever think for one second that you don’t deserve the help and the guidance and the clearance of your trauma or your sadness or whatever it is because you don’t have it that bad. Like get rid of that toxic positivity. I hate that shit of just like everything’s fine and at least I have.
You know, at least my mom didn’t die or at least whatever, like stop. Stop with the comparison and know that you yourself deserve happiness and to feel good and to feel productive so that you can be successful in your business however you define success. You. It is different for every person. And to be successful in your entire
Misty Kortes (33:26.158)
Yes.
Heather Dopson (33:30.747)
higher life. This is in building your community, your relationships with your family, your significant other, your kids, whatever. You deserve that just by virtue of being here as a human being. And I think that don’t be afraid to have conversations. Stop making comparisons and be self-aware.
Misty Kortes (33:45.774)
Yeah.
Heather Dopson (33:59.109)
Like create this self-awareness where if you’re like, you’re just in a bad mood, just a bad mood. And mean shit happens all day long, right? I mentioned before we were on the call that I’m currently working on a project that’s, it’s a government project and so I’m working with the government. And every single day I’m like, my gosh. But if you.
Misty Kortes (34:08.779)
you
Heather Dopson (34:27.471)
But if you’re having a bad day and you recognize it, right? Like you’re, you’re lashing out at people, you’re grumpy, you don’t want to do anything, you don’t want to take a shower, whatever it is, stop and ask yourself why. What happened? And then just figure out what you need to do. Do you need to meditate? Do you need to exercise? Do you need to take a nap?
Do you need to fuel your brain and your body with some water and some food? I mean, all these things seem so simplistic, but we forget. We really do forget that all of those things make an impact on our mental and physical makeup. I started doing this thing a couple of years ago, and I don’t do it every single day, but…
Misty Kortes (35:03.15)
you
Misty Kortes (35:13.4)
Absolutely.
Heather Dopson (35:19.461)
You know how we make to-do lists? Like, okay, I’m gonna start my day and here’s, you know, 40, look at all these things I have. I have all these things, like here’s one, look. Yeah, here’s like, you know. Yeah, okay, how much stress does that create for us? Of like, shit, I gotta add another thing to my list. And so I started doing this thing a couple years ago and I don’t remember where I got this idea or who gave me this idea. At the end of the day, you do it, done.
Misty Kortes (35:29.038)
You mean the never-ending list. Not the to-do, it’s the never-ending. Right.
Heather Dopson (35:49.327)
list. Like here’s the stuff I accomplished today.
Misty Kortes (35:51.982)
Misty Kortes (35:56.514)
You wanna know, I gotta, you know what’s crazy? This is how I thought it was me being a weirdo, because I can be that. I actually, at the end of the day, I will, like if I don’t have a list I’m working from, I will write the list down so I can cross it off because there’s such a gratification of I did this today, I completed this, like there’s an accomplishment in that. I thought it was just me.
Heather Dopson (36:09.634)
And cross it off. Yeah. That it helps. No, it helps you focus on progress as opposed to endless tasks. Because if you’re looking at this long, the never ending, you know, shit to do list, like I’m never going to get that. But you have to have these conversations with your brain and say, look, asshole, because let’s be real, our brain.
Misty Kortes (36:22.594)
Love it.
Misty Kortes (36:32.526)
You
Heather Dopson (36:38.385)
can be a real asshole to us, you can go, look, here are five things I did today, or here are 10 things I did today, like this is progress. And some days it might be one thing. Some days, if you’re in the shit, and I mean in the shit, and I have been in the shit, that one thing might be, I took a shower today. That’s progress. And anybody who has dealt with clinical depression knows that sometimes taking a shower
is one thing to put on your done list, your progress list. And so that, you have to take action. And when you’re really stuck in the muck, in the mire, taking action seems impossible. But I promise you, one small action. Take a shower, write it down. I took a shower. Write it on your mirror. keep…
what do call these? Dry erase markers. I keep them in my bathrooms and I write on my mirror all the time like done, like took a shower, brushed my teeth. It’s like these cycles, right? Of like I’m getting shit done and I feel good. The other thing I think that is something really cool to do is when you’re on an up, when life is good and you’re
Misty Kortes (37:42.04)
love that.
Heather Dopson (38:01.111)
and you’re firing on all cylinders and your business is great and your relationship is great and your kids aren’t being assholes and like everything, right? Or we’ll say like 85%. Yeah, like everything. Sit down, sit down and write yourself, write a letter to your future self and put that away. And when you are not feeling great,
Misty Kortes (38:12.846)
You’re in the zone. You’re in the zone, yeah.
Misty Kortes (38:25.702)
I love that. That’s great.
Heather Dopson (38:29.243)
when you have had a bad day or you have suffered a rejection or something.
Take that letter and open it and put in there encouragement, reminders, advice when this is happening because this is your higher self talking to you at a lower point. We want our friends to tell us that. You should be a friend to yourself and when you’re having those good days, write yourself a letter and just
Misty Kortes (38:58.072)
Yes.
Heather Dopson (39:06.107)
Put them in an envelope and seal them. For when you have a shitty day.
Misty Kortes (39:11.8)
I love that. think that’s such good advice. There’s a couple more things I want to tag onto this that I’ve done personally is first of all, it’s okay to be sad sometimes. I always used to say this to kids and I don’t know where I got this and maybe I read it, I don’t know. Maybe I learned it. You can’t value the sunshine if it doesn’t rain. I used to say that to my kids all the time and they’d roll their eyes and they were like, whatever mom, because I always had these analogies, you And I’m like, no, no, no.
Heather Dopson (39:16.017)
that I’ve done personally is…
Heather Dopson (39:20.911)
Yeah, for sure. For sure.
Heather Dopson (39:38.149)
Easy.
this for a minute. Take a minute. If it doesn’t rain, you don’t ever get to really experience what the sun actually brings into your life.
Misty Kortes (39:41.486)
Think about this for a minute. Take a minute. If it doesn’t rain, you don’t ever get to really experience what the sun actually brings into your life. So if your life is always good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, great, great, great. And if we’re like on this constant like roller coaster that just goes up, like you don’t ever get to feel the thrill of what life really is about because when it rains, I’ve lived in Michigan, they get 86 sunny days.
Heather Dopson (39:54.129)
and if we’re like on this constant roller coaster that just goes up. Yes. Yeah.
Because when it rains, I’ve lived in Michigan. We get 86 sunny days. Then I moved to Arizona, we get 86 rainy Like, we get excited when it rains here. It’s an interesting thing. it’s so true, it’s okay to be sad.
Misty Kortes (40:09.634)
Then I moved to Arizona, we get 86 rainy days. Like it’s a flip, right? We get excited when it rains here. It’s an interesting thing, but it’s not true. It’s okay to be sad sometimes.
Heather Dopson (40:26.897)
It really is. mean, yes, we want to have joy inside of us and we want to be doing things that make us feel good and that make us happy. But the reality is life is not set up or created to have constant joy and never have sorrow. It’s just, it’s just, yeah, you can’t. Like I mentioned earlier.
Misty Kortes (40:28.302)
Absolutely.
Misty Kortes (40:46.318)
That’s right. It’s the yin and yang of life. If you don’t have the opposite, you can take religion. If there is no devil, there is no God. It’s that yin and yang. You have to have the opposition in order to understand both. And so that’s one thing I wanted to bring up. Another thing I wanted to mention is I have always said this, because I’ve been an entrepreneur literally since the first grade,
Heather Dopson (40:53.425)
you can take religion if there is no, like if there is no devil, there is no God. Yeah. Right. It’s that yin and yang. have to have the opposition in order to understand both. Yeah. That’s one thing I wanted to bring up. Yeah. What’s the other? what I wanted to mention.
I have always said this because I’ve been an entrepreneur literally since the first grade. But yeah, I’ve always worked from home. I’ve been very blessed. I’ve been able to stay home and be with my kids and do all that stuff. But I have always had these rules. I I treated my business like it was a job. Meaning when I go to work, I have a separate space where I work from. never worked from the kitchen table. I never worked from the dining room table. I worked from the living room. I certainly don’t work from my bed. There’s others.
Misty Kortes (41:16.268)
I’ve always worked from home. I’ve been very blessed. I’ve been able to stay home and be with my kids and do all that stuff. But I have always had these rules. I I treated my business like it was a job. Meaning when I go to work, I had a separate space where I worked from. I never worked from the kitchen table. I never worked from the dining room table. I never worked from the living room. I certainly don’t work from my bed. There’s other things that are supposed to occur there, not work. Right?
Heather Dopson (41:40.145)
that are supposed to occur there. Not work. It sounds kind of funny, but when you’re an entrepreneur, sometimes it can feel like you’re never ending to do this is a daunting thing that you carry with you in every moment and everything that you do. And every time your phone rings, you really get to pick it up. It doesn’t matter if you’re with your kids or your spouse or whatever you’re doing. You’re controlled by your business. You need to have some boundaries. And one of the big boundaries I’ve always had is I have a
Misty Kortes (41:46.03)
And I know it sounds kind of funny, but when, when you’re an entrepreneur, sometimes it can feel like you’re never ending to do list is a daunting thing that you carry with you in every moment and everything that you do. And every time your phone rings, you feel like you have to pick it up. And it doesn’t matter if you’re with your kids or your spouse or whatever you’re doing, like you’re controlled by your business. You need to have some boundaries. And one of the big boundaries I’ve, I’ve always had is I have a, I have a dedicated space where I work. And when I,
Heather Dopson (42:09.073)
I have a dedicated space where I work. And when I leave that space and shut that door or walk away from that space at the end of the day, Misty is off work. Misty doesn’t take phone calls. Misty doesn’t stop. Misty’s on personal time and I have boundaries on that. I don’t care if the biggest contract of my life reached out to me on Facebook at 11 p.m. at night, I’m not responding back to you. Because if you don’t set those boundaries, I think…
Misty Kortes (42:13.258)
leave that space and shut that door or walk away from that space at the end of the day. Misty is off work. Misty doesn’t take phone calls. Misty doesn’t stop. Like Misty’s on personal time and I have boundaries on that. I don’t care if the biggest contract of my life reached out to me on Facebook at 11 PM at night. I’m not responding back to you because if you don’t set those boundaries, I think that’s
Heather Dopson (42:38.735)
in the dumps mentally because we just feel like why the hell did I do this entrepreneurial thing? They said it was going to be great. It’s all it’s it’s awful because it just owns me. You know what I mean? So for me, that’s something that’s really relatable because you mentioned that like that that never ending to do list and being able to market off. And the last thing I want to bring up is I live in such a digital world. Everything I do is on the Trello board. It’s all yes. Yes. There’s something to be had about pulling out a freaking piece of paper and a pen and
Misty Kortes (42:39.534)
puts us in the dumps mentally. Cause we just feel like, why the hell did I do this entrepreneurial thing? They said it was going to be great. It’s all, it’s, it’s, it’s awful because it just owns me. You know what I mean? So for me, that’s something that’s really relatable. Cause you mentioned that, that, that never ending to-do list and being able to market off. And the last thing I want to bring up is I live in such a digital world. Everything I do is on a Trello board. It’s all type it out and all this.
Something to be mad about pulling out a freaking piece of paper and a pen and actually writing it out, not just clicking the digital box, but physically writing it out. It helps mentally because there’s a lot of things digitally that we do and we don’t take, we take for granted the accomplishments that are getting done because it’s all digital and it’s, it’s kind of like once it’s done, it goes off into digital land and you don’t really see it or, or feel it again. When you physically write it down, it makes it real intangible. So
Heather Dopson (43:29.893)
Yeah, I love that and
Misty Kortes (43:32.578)
That’s just my two cents because you brought up some great tips.
Heather Dopson (43:36.537)
I apologize. I only just realized that there’s a chat happening and we have people in there. I know and I’m like TJ, I’m loving your stuff. Janae, I’m loving your stuff. And I see a question in here from TJ that I really want to address. the question is, what are some signs to know you are in a safe space to have these sorts of conversations in the business space specifically? It seems like this would be a very vulnerable aspect to discuss with.
Misty Kortes (43:51.212)
Yeah, dive into it!
Misty Kortes (44:01.294)
good one.
Heather Dopson (44:06.001)
being open about these topics could be a business relationship builder and strengthener if used in the right setting, but it also seems unprofessional. Okay, I love this question. I love this question. So, I mean, I could talk forever about this, but so the first part of the question, what are some signs to know you’re in a safe space to have these sorts of conversations? So,
Misty Kortes (44:20.558)
That’s good.
Heather Dopson (44:33.969)
As a business owner and an entrepreneur, I hope that you are building relationships with other business owners and entrepreneurs. Whether that’s through memberships in chambers of commerce or you’re part of a mastermind or you’re part of a Facebook group like Monkey Pod Grove. Like the extraordinary entrepreneurs.
Misty Kortes (44:58.766)
Or the extraordinary entrepreneurs. Just put that out there, miss. My group. Yes, you’re right.
Heather Dopson (45:04.131)
Yes, you’re right. did, you know, little shout out for Greg Jenkins, Monkeypod Grove in there too. But building those relationships with other entrepreneurs or other business owners is critical because they’re experiencing similar things to you in their business or in their life or all those kinds of things. So that’s a key component, right, of having developed these relationships.
Misty Kortes (45:11.598)
There you go.
Heather Dopson (45:32.331)
as you’re building your business, you’re in life. I I’m a huge person, a huge advocate of building a community around you, personally, professionally, all of that. I always say I’m not a people person, and then people are like, what? Like, yeah. And so I decided this morning, I was thinking about this, I’m not a people person, but I am a person for my people.
Misty Kortes (45:43.384)
Yep.
Misty Kortes (45:52.194)
I don’t believe it. don’t believe it.
Misty Kortes (46:00.526)
Ooh, I like that. Yeah.
Heather Dopson (46:00.549)
Yeah, like really that came to me this morning. So that’s one thing is having this network of people that you can know and trust. I don’t typically talk about this kind of stuff with clients specifically unless I have developed a relationship with that client where I feel this level of trust.
can feel very vulnerable. It is very vulnerable.
Heather Dopson (46:39.323)
Gosh, I wish I had a better way to articulate this, but yeah, yeah.
Misty Kortes (46:45.152)
in for a second while you gather your thoughts because here’s what comes to mind for me. The reason why I wouldn’t share it with a client personally is I want to, you know, I’m leading a client. So in a leading role of the relationship, I feel like I need to show up with the lessons I’ve learned, not the lessons I’m gaining. Sometimes we have to wait till we’ve gone through something to share it rather than when we’re going through it, right?
Heather Dopson (46:50.959)
Yeah.
Yes, yeah. In the leading role of the relationship, I feel like I need to show up with the lessons I’ve learned. Yes.
we have to wait till we’ve gone through something to share it. Yes. Rather than when we’re going through Yeah. Right? Yes. But here’s the other thing that comes to mind is any.
Misty Kortes (47:11.534)
But here’s the other thing that comes to mind is anytime that I’ve ever had, you know, those moments where I’m like, I really need someone to talk to and I have, I need to turn to someone. What we tend to do is we think we can’t go to the people above us and above us, meaning not in life. That’s ridiculous. No human being is unless you’re Jesus. But no, I’m talking about the people who are leading you.
Heather Dopson (47:17.305)
And I have I need to turn to someone what we tend to do is we think we can’t go to the people Above us meaning not in life. Yeah, yeah, unless you’re Jesus, but No, I’m talking about the people who are who are leading you Yeah, you take these problems too in my opinion because they’ve already gone through things that they can now share some insight in one thing that the reason why this always makes it safe
Misty Kortes (47:37.068)
That’s who you take these problems to in my opinion, because they’ve already gone through things that they can now share some insight. And one thing that the reason why this always makes it safe to bring it to someone like that is because someone who has been through something will never judge you for going through it too. So it’s automatically safe because of that.
Heather Dopson (47:46.833)
bring it to someone like that is because someone who has been through something will never judge you for going through Yeah, true. It’s automatically safe. Yeah, it’s true. And one of the things that I failed to mention earlier, you were talking about what are some ways to whatever we’re talking about. One thing, if you are feeling
down if you’re feeling burnt out, you’re feeling shitty, the quickest way to feel better is to do something for someone else.
Misty Kortes (48:26.976)
girl, high five. High five. It’s so true. So true.
Heather Dopson (48:27.185)
Yeah. Yes. And so, you know, paying attention to the people who are around you and not, I mean, sometimes like I am so fortunate that I have so many people who trust me enough to just come to me and and dump it, just dump it. And sometimes that’s all they need, right? Is they just need a person to get it out to not somebody give them advice, like just listen to them.
And so, so this is kind of a two way street TJ, the way I see it is I want to show up for people or whatever. Sometimes I don’t want to be around people, but I still am doing things that are making positive contributions in the world. I spend a lot of time at a dog rescue, a lot of time, and I get to be there by myself with just the dogs. And I know that I’m helping the dogs and I’m putting positive energy out into the, out into the world.
and it makes me feel so good, even on the shittiest day, and on the day where I’m like, I don’t even want to shower, I’ll go to the dog kennel. Because the dogs don’t care, right? And so I find that being a person for people allows them to be a person for you too. And it is a real fine line, and it has to be what you’re comfortable with.
I have been an entrepreneur for a long time. I also had a role at a company, a very well-known company where I was very visible, like extremely visible. And I was constantly traveling and speaking and I was hosting live shows and doing all of this kind of stuff, right? And I really distinctly remember a trip to Austin. We had gone to South by Southwest and my gosh, I was tired.
South By was like the second stop on like a multi-city tour for me. And I was tired and I’d had like, ugh. And I got on to do a Facebook Live on my own personal profile and it broke down and I cried. And I was telling people, I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay. But this is a result of a bunch of stuff that happened today and being tired and doing all of this. And this is like, I just need to get this out.
Heather Dopson (50:54.129)
And that’s a real vulnerable space to be in. And I recognize that not everybody can be comfortable and that’s okay. I just kind of live, I’m just a transparent person and that’s kind of how I live my life. But yeah, I’m like, always know. Yes. Yeah, you always know where I stand.
Misty Kortes (51:09.358)
I like showing my cards. It makes me feel better. I don’t know why. It’s real and authentic. Yeah, you, that’s one thing I always said to my kid, you always know where mom stands because I can’t, I can’t help it. Even if I don’t speak the words. Yeah. My face shows it. And I want go back to, I want to give another little tip, know, helping dogs, helping other people. That is such an important part because when you’re feeling crappy, it’s,
Heather Dopson (51:23.237)
I’m not gonna bullshit you. I’m not gonna bullshit you. Yeah, yeah, I’m not gonna.
You know, yeah, helping dogs helping other people that is such an important because when you’re feeling crappy, it’s the best the best therapy is to go help someone else. But here’s what’s interesting for me personally. I’ll do something so simple like go on social media and comment and encourage other people. Yeah, I will just do that. Yes. Yeah.
Misty Kortes (51:39.502)
The best therapy is to go help someone else. But here’s what’s interesting for me personally. I’ll do something so simple like go on social media and comment and encourage other people. I will just do that because, hey, that’s good. He said that you’re talking about pups, I’m here. That’s awesome. So I will do something as simple as that. Just publicly go on social media and edify or lift other people up.
Heather Dopson (52:03.886)
and in…
in it’s therapeutic. I know this sounds crazy and it’s small and it might seem insignificant.
Misty Kortes (52:09.422)
And it’s therapeutic for me. I know that sounds crazy and it’s small and it might seem insignificant, but I’m not a person, I’m usually like a spectator on social media. I see a lot of stuff. I’ll like some things every now and then, but I’m pretty selfish with my likes a lot of the time. I don’t know why it just, I am. So when I’m feeling down though, I’ll be very intentional about going, need to go lift some people up because I’m feeling like crap and I will, you know, maybe sometimes I wish someone did that for me and I go do it for them.
Heather Dopson (52:16.849)
like a spectator on social media, I see a lot of stuff. I’ll like some things every now and then, but I’m pretty selfish with my likes a lot of the time. I don’t know why, it just, I am. So when I’m feeling down, I’ll be very intentional about going, I need to go lift some people up because I’m feeling like crap and I will, know, maybe sometimes I wish something better for them. Why go do it for them? Exactly. So one of the things like, it was so specific in TJ’s question about, you know, how do you do that in business?
Misty Kortes (52:38.988)
You know? So it could be something small.
Heather Dopson (52:46.309)
You don’t have to talk to other business people. I hope that everyone has people in their lives that they can go to. And I do, and I have people across the range of skills and jobs and education levels and all things. I I was talking to somebody yesterday who is 42 years old and I was like, my gosh, like chat, just chat GPT. just love it. Like this, she’s like, what is…
Misty Kortes (52:55.744)
And I do.
Heather Dopson (53:15.277)
What is that? What is chat GPT? And I’m like, my gosh, I can’t imagine living in a world where you don’t know what chat GPT is. There’s nothing wrong with that. just is like, holy cow. But, I had a point here. when you, and I learned this from my friend Will Black, but I use it in reverse. I was having a really bad day one day, and this is when I worked for, I worked for GoDaddy.
Misty Kortes (53:18.584)
Right?
Heather Dopson (53:44.881)
and I had and Will was one of my friends and I went to Will and I was like I’m crying and everything and Will’s like Let’s let’s leave like let’s go to lunch and as we’re walking in to lunch He stopped me and he said I need to know Are you seeking advice or just venting and I was like holy
Misty Kortes (54:07.598)
Thank you.
Heather Dopson (54:14.833)
Shit. Holy shit. So, now I do that in reverse. Like I front load that. When I’m going to someone, I tell them, I’m not seeking advice, I’m ranting. I’m not seeking advice, I just need to talk this out. Or, I’m seeking advice and I’m venting at the same time. If you front load that for somebody, and especially if…
Misty Kortes (54:15.16)
Gosh, that’s such a good question.
Heather Dopson (54:40.675)
If it’s not somebody that’s in business or understands what being an entrepreneur is like, and you just say, I just need to vent about this, do you have five minutes to listen to me vent? Set a parameter for them, right? Yes, that helps them feel more comfortable instead of like…
Misty Kortes (54:41.07)
It’s so good.
Misty Kortes (55:00.942)
important too. Yeah, because we’re not… You can lend an ear, but I mean, 55 minutes of an ear? Not so much. Sometimes we only have so much capacity to listen to. That is so good because, and I gotta give, I gotta say something to the entrepreneurs because I think most entrepreneurs are wired as problem solvers.
Heather Dopson (55:07.161)
Yeah
Heather Dopson (55:12.657)
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Misty Kortes (55:26.316)
I actually have a guy in my business, his name’s Cullen. He’s like my right hand guy. He’s the guy I banter with. We’re always having these conversations. And I said to him, I’m not a good friend. And he goes, why’d you say, why do you say that? And I said, because the second you come to me and want to talk to me about a problem, I want to solve it. I don’t know how not to solve it. I can’t be a sounding board because my brain won’t allow me to just listen.
Heather Dopson (55:43.585)
Yeah
Misty Kortes (55:51.226)
I instantly go right into problem solving and don’t know how to turn that off. And here’s the biggest problem. If we didn’t solve it on the call together, I’m going to problem solve it all freaking night until I come up with a solution so I can get back to you. I don’t know if that’s just me. I don’t know if that’s me making an excuse because I don’t want to listen. I don’t know what it is, but that’s personally how I’m wired. And I find that a lot of entrepreneurs are problem solvers and we kind of all do the same thing. Do you kind of like find
Heather Dopson (56:15.245)
Yeah, Do find that I think you have a servant heart and people who have servant hearts want to help other people and a lot of times feeling like Helping is solving their problem That but I want to tell you right now that solving someone else’s problem is not the
Misty Kortes (56:36.994)
Yes, that is so good.
Heather Dopson (56:43.549)
only measure of how you can help someone else because sometimes the best way that you can help someone is to Be there with them to sit there with them that that’s it And let them go through their own shit. Yes
Misty Kortes (56:49.922)
You’re so true.
Misty Kortes (57:01.986)
them both through their own shit. I know this as a parent. As a parent, my kids make mistakes. They’re going through stuff. My son, long story short, it’s in my book, but he got into a car accident, hit a guy, guy comes out, he’s ranting and raving. My son freaks out. He freaking takes off from the scene. Not a good thing.
Heather Dopson (57:09.455)
Yeah
Misty Kortes (57:23.128)
Just so you know, advice, you don’t ever do that. Well, he’s 20 years old. He’s young, first accident. The guy’s driving a hundred thousand dollar vehicle. My son’s driving a, you know, not a hundred thousand dollar vehicle. And so he takes off. Well, the guy calls the cops and he gets surrounded by cops because it’s basically a chase now. Not a good situation. So anyways, I’m story short. You know, my son went through this experience. I’d never been through it personally myself.
Heather Dopson (57:39.377)
because it’s basically a chase now. Not a good situation. anyways, story short, my son went through this experience, I had never been through it personally myself. He has to go to court, he has to do all this stuff. And through the process, we realized he actually had pulled us a couple of lies. I was not able be truthful about it. And that was the lesson I learned as a parent. And it took me 30 some years of being a parent to learn this lesson is that sometimes,
Misty Kortes (57:50.7)
He has to go to court, has to do all this stuff. And through the process, we realized he actually had told us a couple of little lies and he wasn’t 100 % truthful about it. And that was the lesson I learned as a parent. And it took me, you know, 30 some years of being a parent to learn this lesson is that sometimes people just have to go through their own shit to learn the lesson. I can’t help him learn that lesson. He has to.
Heather Dopson (58:08.561)
People just have to go through the shit to learn the lesson. can’t help him learn that lesson. He has to. No, you’re so true. I just had to share that story because it brings that to real life for me personally. I have always been the type of person that I want to remove pain. I have suffered traumas in my life that have, like from an early age.
Misty Kortes (58:16.354)
So, no, you’re so true. I just had to share that story because it brings that to real life for me personally.
Misty Kortes (58:29.72)
Yes!
Heather Dopson (58:38.149)
that have impacted me and shaped my character and shape. And I always wanted to take that. Like I don’t want you to suffer. I don’t want you to feel what I felt. I don’t want you to do that. I… Yeah, Yeah, yeah. Yes. So I, but I will tell you 100 %
Misty Kortes (58:54.542)
As a parent, I find that completely relatable. Even as a spouse, I don’t want my husband to feel pain. I’ll take the bullet so you don’t have to. Yeah.
Heather Dopson (59:07.043)
Unequivocally that will contribute to your own burnout that will contribute to your own issues Because you cannot solve everyone’s problems and I so clearly remember being in a therapy session at the VA and telling my therapist this I Said if I could just be a sponge and take the pain like I’m just gonna take the pain away
Misty Kortes (59:14.51)
you
Heather Dopson (59:35.259)
from the people I love and care about, I would do that. I would do that. One, there’s a pathology there of self abuse. Like why do I not, why do I feel like I gotta take on a race pain? That’s a different conversation. It’s a savior complex. Yeah. what the therapist said to me is that when you do that, if you could do that, if you could take everybody’s pain away, you take away their opportunity for growth.
Misty Kortes (59:46.466)
that.
It’s a savior complex. I had it for a moment. Yeah.
Heather Dopson (01:00:05.777)
Yeah, so it’s this like, it’s like, I, yeah, I know, I know.
Misty Kortes (01:00:07.734)
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Misty Kortes (01:00:14.04)
We could unpack that on a call in and of itself as a parent, as a spouse, as a friend, as all the rules we play as an entrepreneur. I don’t want other entrepreneurs to struggle. I don’t. I don’t want anyone to experience pain. And here’s what’s crazy about it too is because once you’ve gone through the struggle or had a pain in a specific area and a specific problem, you’re like, I can take it. I already went through it.
Heather Dopson (01:00:25.413)
Yeah, yes, I know. Right, yeah.
Misty Kortes (01:00:41.42)
You have gone through it, so I’ll just take the blow for you. But you’re so right. You’re stealing their opportunity for growth. It’s in my book, but yeah, it’s so true. It’s so true.
Heather Dopson (01:00:43.057)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it. We I gotta I gotta get that book. I don’t know how much time we have but I do I have one I have one Exercise that I want to gift to people today. I mean I really we could do a weekly podcast on just this topic and I have so many ideas and so many
Misty Kortes (01:00:58.274)
I know.
Misty Kortes (01:01:11.47)
Absolutely.
Heather Dopson (01:01:12.209)
Actions and in all like all kinds of things, but I have this very specific exercise And I had to go back and look I knew I shared this in a video on Facebook and I couldn’t remember when I did 2016 is when I when I shared this so it’s it goes way back. I don’t do this every day I want to get in the practice I need to make time to get in the practice of doing this every day because I think it’s really powerful
Misty Kortes (01:01:29.968)
wow.
Heather Dopson (01:01:41.787)
but I call it the hand of gratitude, okay? So if you take your hand and you look at your pinky, and your pinky represents the small things in your life that you’re grateful for. And on a bad day, it could be something like, I’m grateful I have sheets on my bed. I’m grateful I have air conditioning in Arizona. Today I’m grateful I have a heater.
Misty Kortes (01:02:11.736)
The sun’s out.
Heather Dopson (01:02:12.153)
Yeah, I mean, it’s the small things, right? Because often we get so wrapped up in our day and our life and everything that we forget, like, holy shit, like, look at that bird. That bird is really cool. Like, I’m a total bird nerd. but, but it’s that, like, so it’s the, pinky is gratitude for the small things. And then your ring finger is your gratitude for your relationships. This is for your,
your immediate family, for your friends, for your mentors. We didn’t even get to touch on that really, like having mentors and role models in your life. But that’s your gratitude for relationships. And it is, you know, I am grateful that I had the opportunity to come on with my friend Misty and talk about mental health because it’s so important for me. And then your middle finger.
which we know typically what the middle finger is.
Misty Kortes (01:03:11.714)
You’re the guy you’re driving behind on the way to the Costco. I’m teasing, I’m teasing.
Heather Dopson (01:03:14.117)
Yeah, I mean, it’s got a dual purpose, right? No, it’s a dual purpose. But in this instance, we’re going to flip the script a little bit. And where the middle finger is, we’re going to give somebody a compliment. So this is your reminder of, hey, you know what? I’m going to go on Facebook and write some uplifting comments. Or I’m going to sit down and write five thank you notes to mail out to people. Or just write five cards to mail out to people.
Misty Kortes (01:03:29.321)
I like.
Heather Dopson (01:03:43.825)
because people love mail. People love mail, like actual snail mail. So that’s your, give someone a compliment. And then your index finger is, this is your pointer finger, this is to point out beauty around you. And everybody has a different definition of beauty, and it’s gonna be different on every day, but that’s your pointer finger is to point out the beauty. The beauty of my 12 year old dog sleeping beside me right here. Like I am grateful for it.
Misty Kortes (01:03:45.442)
I love that.
Misty Kortes (01:04:00.822)
Mmm.
Heather Dopson (01:04:12.341)
Every second I have with this dog because I know he’s not gonna be here forever And then your thumb Your thumb is yourself and This is a reminder to be kind to yourself We are so mean to ourselves The stuff that I say that this
Misty Kortes (01:04:15.285)
every moment.
Misty Kortes (01:04:33.058)
Yes.
Heather Dopson (01:04:41.167)
brain of mine, the ogre in my brain, if you’ve read any of my writing, this ogre that lives in my brain, the stuff that he says to me, if somebody else said that to me, I would beat their ass. And so, so the thumb, the thumb is the reminder, like back to yourself, be kind to yourself. that’s pinky is the small things, ring finger is your relationships, the middle finger is to give someone a compliment. The index finger.
Misty Kortes (01:04:45.144)
Thank
Misty Kortes (01:04:53.537)
Right?
Misty Kortes (01:05:08.042)
Love it!
Heather Dopson (01:05:10.653)
Yeah, yeah, well I have And the index or point your finger is to point out beauty around you and your thumb is to point back at you and say You know what? You’re doing okay today or you’re doing Yeah Misty okay, you got to bleep that out cuz I need to do that
Misty Kortes (01:05:10.862)
anyone off by the way I’m just saying
Misty Kortes (01:05:27.406)
You need to make a journal with that, like a hand and people can write it every day. Like that is so good. It’s so good. Okay, I’ll get… Only the people live with us are gonna get that. I’m gonna cut it out. It’s so good. It is. Because it’s simple, it’s actionable, it’s easy to remember. And you can’t go through an exercise like that because I’ve been…
Heather Dopson (01:05:42.193)
That’s a great idea. that’s… Yeah. It’s quick.
Misty Kortes (01:05:55.278)
I’ve heard before, like, you know, sit down and have an attitude of gratitude and write down what you’re grateful for. And when you’re in that mood, you’re like, nothing, nothing comes to mind. But when you kind of spell that out exactly like how simple you can just hyper focus on one singular thing, one little thing, one relationship, one like that, that makes it really easy. I love that. Thank you for sharing that. God.
Heather Dopson (01:06:02.093)
Nothing nothing
Heather Dopson (01:06:10.649)
Yes. One singular thing, one little thing, one relationship, one like that, that it so easy. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, of course.
Misty Kortes (01:06:23.884)
All right, we went over, I know I kind of had a feeling we would do this because this is such a big topic and we don’t talk about it enough. I mean, I’m seeing people here and there kind of bringing it up, but you want to know the other thing that kind of I’ve recognized, I actually wrote this down a couple of days ago, probably because I knew we were going to have this conversation and I put down, I’m so selfish. And what I mean by that is I’m selfish is because I
Heather Dopson (01:06:25.713)
Yeah
Yeah. That’s interesting.
Misty Kortes (01:06:52.014)
to show up when I’m already through the problem. I want to show up and share when it’s safer for me because I’ve already, I’ve already figured it out. And I think that we need more people showing up when we’re in the freaking mess of it going, I don’t know what to do. And I just want to share because we don’t do that enough because it’s easy to look at someone going, well, yeah, of course you’re, you know, you’re doing great because you have all these things figured out. But most of us are,
Heather Dopson (01:07:18.221)
Yeah, that That’s why that’s why I started sharing more openly on social many many years ago is because if you only looked at
Misty Kortes (01:07:22.114)
are going through it. And we just don’t care.
Heather Dopson (01:07:33.007)
the things I was posting on social, the things I was doing professionally and personally, you would be like, she’s got her shit together, her life is rainbows and sunshine. And I was like, no, people. Yesterday I was laying on my kitchen floor, curled in a ball, crying. I am not ashamed of that. I am not embarrassed by that. And I told you before that when I share stuff, people are like,
Misty Kortes (01:07:42.414)
She’s got it all together, yo.
Heather Dopson (01:08:02.033)
Showing up and saying this happened to me. I will tell you you’re talking about like I want to be there when I solve the problem so in December of 2023 I went through a terrible The ending of my romantic relationship, and it was awful it was awful and
Misty Kortes (01:08:28.75)
I you sharing that.
Heather Dopson (01:08:30.671)
I want to tell you a couple of things that I did because, and I’ve never talked about this publicly before. Several of my friends know this, but I made the decision to end the relationship. I knew I was going to have to and on a particular day I discovered more stuff. It was like, I am ending this relationship today. I am doing it today. And I text four or five people and I said,
today at 12 o’clock Texas time, I am ending my relationship with him. Like I put that out in the universe. And that was like holding myself accountable. So like I’m making this decision, I’m doing it. And then that afternoon, after it had happened and I removed myself physically from the situation, I sat down and I messaged another probably 10,
or 12 people. And I said, this is what I’ve done. This is where I am. I like, I know I’ll be okay, but I’m just like, it’s really devastating. I did that. Because again, it’s that reaffirming to me that I know I made the right decision and putting it out there so that people are holding me accountable to it. It was not attention seeking. It was accountability to myself. And then the next day,
Misty Kortes (01:09:52.248)
Yeah.
Heather Dopson (01:09:58.553)
I wrote a post on Facebook and I didn’t go into great detail but I talked about heartbreak and betrayal and I don’t know what to do. But what I need is I need my people. I need my friends. I need that love and I need that energy and holy shit did I get it. unbelievable. was just unbelievable and I felt so.
Misty Kortes (01:10:23.374)
You did.
Heather Dopson (01:10:27.853)
Yeah.
Misty Kortes (01:10:28.334)
Remember that post. And you want to know what’s interesting when you shared it. You know, I know you and I, we’re not like the bestie of besties. I always respected you. We met at Keep over a decade ago. And there was just always this long distance kind of observance. I’ve seen you on social and I knew like, if ever I have this conversation or conversation around this, like you’re the girl I’m going to want to turn to. You know what I mean? And when you posted that, I felt
Heather Dopson (01:10:35.023)
Yeah.
Yeah.
this conversation or conversation around this, like you’re the girl and one on one I turned to. Yeah. And, and when you posted that I felt more connected. Yeah. Yeah. And even though I had, mean, I, I didn’t know we were even in a relationship. Yeah. Yeah. I know who he was. Yeah. I knew nothing about it, but when you shared it so vulnerably, I was like, there’s just something there that makes you trust the person more even at a distance.
Misty Kortes (01:10:57.45)
more connected to you. And even though I hadn’t, mean, I, I didn’t know who you were even in a relationship with. I knew you had a relationship. I don’t know who he was. I knew nothing about it. But when you shared it so vulnerably, I was like, there’s just something there that makes you trust a person more even at a distance when they can share something so close. Cause I can’t even imagine having to have that conversation.
Heather Dopson (01:11:16.593)
they can share something so close. I can’t even imagine having to have that conversation. And I want to tell you, I felt ashamed, I felt embarrassed. Yes, I was sad and I was mad and those things that you associate with that kind of thing, but I really was ashamed and I really was embarrassed and I really was questioning a lot of things.
Misty Kortes (01:11:27.022)
privately, much less publicly.
Heather Dopson (01:11:45.199)
and knowing myself and self-awareness and years of working through all of this kind of stuff, I knew that that was the best way for me to go and ask for the help. I need your help. And I got it. The other thing that happened…
The number of people who messaged me privately to share their own challenges and their own struggles with what was happening with them in their relationships, men and women both, to come to me and say things like, you’re so strong, you’ve inspired me to rethink my relationship or end my relationship.
Remove myself from an abusive situation like people I mean it was unreal and just if just a few months ago a person Messaged me this long thing. She’s a former she she was she was at keep a long time ago, And she was kind of counseling this younger woman like all of this stuff was going on and happening in this younger woman’s life And she shared my story
Said like this is why you need to get out. This is why you need to like and then you know wrote me that she’s like I just want you to know that you sharing that the impact of you sharing that is far and wide and my gosh the the joy that that brings my heart knowing that In in my it’s I’m not even gonna say in my suffering in my vulnerability in my ask for help it opens up
Misty Kortes (01:13:11.288)
Yes.
Heather Dopson (01:13:26.319)
the capability to have, for people to have conversations. And when they see someone like me who by outside appearances is successful and has got it together, nobody has it together by the way, but when they see somebody, yeah, when they see somebody that comes out and goes, look, this has really fucked me up. It just makes you go, holy cow, I’m not the only person.
Misty Kortes (01:13:41.55)
Not all of it.
Heather Dopson (01:13:55.471)
And that’s what I want to make sure that people understand is that whatever you’re going through mentally, you are not alone. You are not alone. And you can have conversations, you can ask for help, and you can find the strength to seek medical attention.
make sure that you’re going to your doctor and you’re talking to your doctor about your symptoms and get a diagnosis for depression or anxiety if that’s what’s happening to you. These are real medical issues. And this is not like, I’m sad, which is a thing, right? Like I can be sad. You can be sad and depressed. They’re two different things. And so seek, seek help.
Misty Kortes (01:14:42.286)
Sure.
Heather Dopson (01:14:50.829)
You are valuable and you are worth it and you just have to put your ego aside.
and get better. Get better so that you can show up better for the entire world.
Misty Kortes (01:15:10.178)
Yeah, and create a safe space for others. When you’re vulnerable, you create safe spaces for others. We have so much conversation going on in the chat. We did not even pay attention. I was just like so enthralled and like listening to you. I am so sorry if you asked a question and we did not address it. We are going to have to do this again. If I could be graced by your presence again.
Heather Dopson (01:15:10.321)
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Misty Kortes (01:15:34.114)
We need to do this again. This is clearly a conversation. This is probably the most chat I’ve had since I’ve been doing these interviews. I just started at the beginning of this year and this one is a big one, obviously. So we need to do this again. Another, another day and no, no agenda, just coming in and just chatting because I think that, you know, we had some questions prepared coming into this, but I think just what evolved was better, was way better.
Heather Dopson (01:15:39.259)
I just started at the beginning of this year and this one is a big one. Obviously. Yeah. We need to do this again. Yeah. Another, another day and no, no agenda just coming in and just chatting because I think that, you know, we had some questions prepared coming into this, but I think just what evolved was better. Yeah. Way better. Yeah. So I just want to do this again and not have an agenda for the topic and just talk about crap that’s happening, how we’re dealing with it. What?
Misty Kortes (01:16:03.064)
So I just want to do this again and not have an agenda for the topic and just talk about crap that’s happening, how we’re dealing with it. What, what are some tips? What are some tricks? What are just, just real stuff, you know, everyday real stuff that we all go through. So Heather, it has been incredible to say the least. and you gave us, all right, what was this called again? The hand, the hand of gratitude. It’s so good. Okay. So,
Heather Dopson (01:16:09.457)
are some tips? are some tricks? What are just real stuff? Everyday real stuff that we all go through. So Heather, it has been incredible. And you gave us, all right, what was this called again? So I call it the hand of gratitude. The hand of gratitude, it’s so good. So if nothing else, take that away today because it’s so simple. Draw your own hand in a piece of until she publishes it.
Misty Kortes (01:16:32.192)
If nothing else, take that away today because it is so simple. Draw your own hand on a piece of paper until she publishes her journal and then buy that. So thank you so much for shedding the light on this.
Heather Dopson (01:16:38.673)
Yeah, absolutely. And if you’re having a great day today and you’re feeling good about yourself, sit down and write your future self a letter. Write that letter to yourself to be, and you can use the Bob Newhart thing and just say, stop it. You just need that. You need to just pattern interrupt. Like just pattern interrupt. We get stuck in that pattern and you just need somebody to go, stop it.
Misty Kortes (01:16:50.912)
Yes, absolutely.
Misty Kortes (01:16:59.576)
Go look at that video. It’s so funny when you watch that video.
Heather Dopson (01:17:09.232)
Just stop it.
Misty Kortes (01:17:09.934)
Just stop it, just stop it. Go to YouTube, watch the video, write your letter and do the hand of gratitude. All right, thank you so much. I will see you guys all again next week. Have a great week.
Heather Dopson (01:17:12.655)
write your letter and do the hand of gratitude. The hand of gratitude. Thank you so much. will see you guys all again next week. Have a great week.
Misty Kortes (01:17:26.983)
Right.